How do you stay calm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
How do you stay calm?
11
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 6:10am

I need a chill pill. I panicked when I got a 47 page financial disclosure questionaire from stbx's lawyer because it didn't exclude things like dd#1's clarinet and dd#2's piano. When stbx was leaving from seeing the kids yesterday, I asked him about those items and his reply was "Talk to your lawyer", which left me believing he wants them included in the total of the assets in the household.

So I talked to ddil to see if she could get dss to talk to his father and get him to agree to exclude the girls instruments and their savings bonds. No go. He doesn't want to take sides. Anyway, after a couple of very stressful hours, my lawyer calls and tells me he's LOVE to be in the room if stbx TRIED to lay claim to the girl's things. He's sending me a document to fill out stating what household items should be excluded and why (should have been in the document stbx had sent to me IMO).

This is about the third time that something he's done has just had me in a tizzy because of the way he handled it. I still don't know what his intentions are with regard to these items but his refusal to say "They belong to the kids" bothers me. He's probably just yanking my chains but he knows which ones to yank.

We fought over dd#2's piano. He didn't want to spend that much money on one but this instrument just clicked with her and it's a beautiful. It's something she'll have and enjoy her entire life. I figured you don't scrimp on that kind of purchase when you've found the perfect instrument so I bought it even though it was really a bit much. Ddil thinks his argument will be that dd doesn't need THAT piano. She could make do with a $500 bargain piano. I don't know but I know we had a stressful night last night.

How do you keep from letting your stbx set you off? Mine seems to know right where to hit.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 6:12am

I think it varies by county here. Sounds like I'll be ok in my county. The way it works is we present him with a contract saying I will not sell dd's piano without his consent and dare him to not take it. The judge will have him for lunch if he tries to say that he prefers that I pay him half the value of her piano.

Technically, it's a piece of furniture in my home but once that contract is offered, he looks like a greedy SOB if he demands money from me and my lawyer says the court will honor that I offered that contract and enforce it. So, dd will keep her piano and I won't have to pay him half the value, much to his chagrin.

My lawyer says he wants to be in the room when stbx tries to claim half the value of the kids stuff. He says it will be quite entertaining. While he has the legal right to insist that anything in the house be included in the financial division, he'll look like a fool if he won't sign that contract and the judge will order him to do so.

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