How do you survive the holidays w/o...
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How do you survive the holidays w/o...
| Mon, 10-16-2006 - 3:44pm |
the kids? This will be my first holiday season having to share the kids. We haven't worked out the details yet but I'm starting to worry about how I'm going to handle not having them some of the time. How do you handle it? Any ideas?
Rhonda

I got the schedule worked out on paper the way I wanted it and that had all the rules of my states parenting guidelines. I didn't wait for him to tell me when I was going to have the kids I sent him an email with a proposed schedule and asked him to let me know if there was any thing he wanted to add. Two things happened in my favor, it wasn't on the phone which is hard to document or in person which is also hard to document, it was in print via email and I had proof if he didn't follow what we agreed. I also had documented his reply if it got nasty. It did get tense a few times but it all went to my attorney for proof. I also have an email file, hard copy file and a computer copy saved on disk.
I felt on my end I knew when I was going to see them for the holidays and I called friends who were willing to include me in their plans so I busy on the days I didn't have them. For the most part our schedules were split neither parent got them the whole entire holiday. We each got them some of the time. But I set the pace. It was sad but I survived because here I am emailing you advice. Hope this gives you a ray of hope. If you want my specific holiday schedule I can send it to you. Maddyhollers
Hi Rhonda.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I am mum to my 4 beautiful kids aged 16,14,11yrs (x husb) & my partner & i have a 2yr old son. We have been divorced now for 5yrs & he comes for the kids every fortnight, & we share custody by splitting the holidays. At first i cried all the time,,mainly because the kids father is a little self centred & irresponsible,,,& my youngest son nearly drowned , being a non swimmer & was left unsupervised. This set a very bad precident for me in the "worry" stakes. Weekend access isnt a problem for me now, because i know when they leave friday i'll have them back on sunday evening. But it doesnt change for me over holidays I cry when they leave, i stress all week ,,then just when i'm getting used to the idea ,,they arrive home. I guess it was worse when they were younger, because now they are older they are a lot smarter & can call me if there is a problem.
The biggest problem we have is different parenting styles,,,i beleive in discipline (he beleives in partying), even though i try not to get involved in issues arrising at his place of residence,, we sometimes have attitude adjustments when they come home.
I guess divorce isnt pretty for anyone least of all the kids,, at first the kids were used as tools,,but both parents soon realise that point scoring doesnt work for anyone & you will settle into a regime of some kind,,but as for handing MY kids over to the x every holiday break,,,i will NEVER ever get used to it!
Hope this helps Somehow! Find a hobby & keep busy! It helps!
Regards
Lynnette & kids
I used to be step mum so I have seen this sharing holiday from another angle and this may sound trivial.
There two things we learned the hard way about Christmas.
1: