How far have you come?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
How far have you come?
29
Sun, 03-12-2006 - 2:34pm

How long have you been divorced/separated and how far have you come since then?

Hugs~ Lexi

"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars" ~ Les Brown


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 2:27pm

Lets see

I can go to the store for as long as I want and not feel presure to hurry back.

I too changed my toilet seat when I first moved in here.(I'm in consturction though and have taken out quite a few toilets though)

I can watch whatever "I" want on TV. No more remote hog.

Pretty much everything else I did on my own anyway. Like installing a new washer by my self. Taking it down stairs without a dolly, you get the picture.

I don't have to worry about him coming to bed just for sex.(he would sleep on the couch otherwise, his choice)

I have way less stress.

I can talk to my mother for as long as I want.

I'm sure there's more but I'm drawing a blank right now.

K:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 3:20pm

Life's reminders are so sweet.... EX-SO called me today (per our last conversation I told him DO NOT call me unless he could drop the attitude about "hoping we could be friends", then proceeding to tell me how it


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 4:00pm
It's been three years, and some days I feel like I've come along way, and other days the pain is just as intense as the day everything happened. I go back and forth, but I have come along way overall. One thing the whole experience taught me is to take care of myself. I started walking, tanning, I am doing more things with my kids, and taking opportunities to TRAVEL! I am taking my first cruise in April. Something that I always wanted to do with my ex, but I am going without him anyway! A lot of doors have opened up to me since the breakup, and I feel excited and hopeful about the future! I met someone that I am dating casually, I never thought that would happen in a million years. I thought I would be with my ex forever, but forever turned out to be shorter than I had planned. So I am making new plans. I am getting back on my feet financially and I don't rely on him for money or child care anymore. I am learning to be independent and if he comes through once in a while, then its icing on the cake. I'm learning just how little he really did contribute to our relationship and how his "friends" always came first, and how the kids and I deserve better than that. This really was a blessing in disguise. For as much pain as I have been in the last three years, its nothing compared to how I would feel today, if he and I were still together. At least now, I have a chance to be happy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 1:39am

I've been divorced for almost 2 years, and although it's definitely
been one of the worst times of my life (going through the process),
it really does help to know someone who's been through it. These
forums are a great way to find other women who can relate to what
I'm going through.

I read articles written by a woman named Debbie Burgin (she also
has a blog that I read regularly). She's been divorced for about 5
years, and everything she writes about relates to divorce and how
she got through various stages of the process. I've found that to
be helpful as well.

gv38


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 1:44am

I've been divorced for almost 2 years, and so far, I'm doing well.
It really does help to have other women who have been through
this process, who can relate to what I'm going through.

I often read articles by a woman named Debbie Burgin. She's been
divorced for 5 years, and writes about the divorce process on
a regular basis. I think she has a blog as well. I've found her
articles to be quite helpful.

gv38

(my apologies if this posts twice. It said that the message didn't post
the first time, so I posted again. Thanks.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 7:27am

Hi Veronica.... welcome to the board!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 1:50pm

CONGRATULATIONS!!!


To all of us!

Hugs~ Lexi

"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars" ~ Les Brown


Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 9:29pm

I'm way late, but jumping in with two feet anyway...

I've been separated for almost three years and will be divorced for two come next month... since then I have...

... realized that my little boy is utterly amazing

... installed a new light on the back porch/deck area

... maintained a good relationship with my xil's who still care a great deal about Joey and I and want to stay involved...

... gotten promoted and a couple of raises

... traveled all by myself (something that I hadn't ever actually done until this past year... it was always with someone... Mom, Joey, xh...)

... taken my little boy to Disney World (something I could have never afforded with xh's spending habits)

... paid off my student loan

... paid off my car

... am within two months of having my credit card (my last real debt) paid off

... increased my savings account

... picked out paint colors for my room and bathroom (that I will paint with, if we ever have a warm, sunny weekend in GA again)

... become optimistic about my future...

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 8:04pm

Thank you for that. I've been officially legally separated since December 1, 2005 and in that time, have moved from RI to TN, gotten an apartment, gotten my two children into daycare, gone back to work after being a stay-at-home mom for the past four years and am doing online classes at night. I have to give credit to my husband though as he's helped me financially but still I've made some major changes in my life and my friends who know me with him are amazed at the differences in my personality and love the "new me" without him...

It's hard sometimes to look at the positives until someone else points them out; thanks again!!!

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