How to finance the cost?
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| Sat, 02-02-2008 - 7:40pm |
I am facing divorce but am terrified of the financial cost. After looking into selling our house we were told we'd most likely have to come to the closing with around 20,000-30,000 dollars. We've been in the house a little over 2 years and therefore don't have much equity. Plus the housing market is horrible so we'd be selling for less than what we bought it for. Also, we own 16,000 in credit card debt, not to mention what it is going to cost us for the actual divorce. What can I do? Do we each try to take out a personal loan to cover our half of the costs?
The credit card has a high interest rate and therefore it would be best, I believe, to take care of it sooner rather than later. Last year I did get the credit card company to lower the rate for 6 months, but even that didn't allow us to pay it down much.
What have you all done? Or what do you suggest? I have many sleepless nights worrying about how to handle the money situation. It is such an overwhelming amount. Thanks for any advice.

Butterfli,
Why are you and your husband divorcing?
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Im not facing the house thing, but the credit card thing, so would be interesting in what answers you get.
The money situation in my case has given me many sleepless nights.
Why are you divorcing is money part of the problem?
Surprisingly money is not one of the reasons. The simplest way to put it in my opinion is that my husband who is 28 is struggling with growing up. He grew up without a father, and had a mother and grandmother who did absolutely everything for him. He never had to learn how to do anything for himself, never had any responsibilities, and never had to be accountable to anyone. So he's having a really hard time being married because he now needs to be all of those things and doesn't know or understand how to be. Although, we did have a break through the other night and he finally admitted that he was just as much at fault for the problems in our marriage as I was. Which for him is a HUGE step forward. Now it's just a matter of what he wants to do about it. I can see that it terrifies him to think that he may have to change/modify his ways in order for our marriage to work. And I believe he thinks that if he changes anything about himself then he's selling out. He always tells me that I should love and accept him just the way that he is, and that he shouldn't have to change. And he's right. But he's also very wrong. Without change how can he grow as a man? And as hard as it has been to accept, I can't make him want that change. He has to not only want it for himself but contribute to it as well. And unless or until he does, our marriage can not succeed. By the way, he was the one who wanted a divorce. But I am the one who is going to finally hold him accountable. I am no longer going to settle for a mediocre marriage.
We've been married 3 1/2 years, together a total of 10 1/2 years. We were highschool sweethearts. No kids.