How to get him to come home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2008
How to get him to come home?
4
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 6:12am

6mths ago I had a miscarriage and

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 11:27am
You can not make him do anything he does NOT want to do. He has made it clear to you as to what his intentions are and they do not include you at this time. I am not trying to sound harsh but the writing is on the wall.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 12:13pm

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am going through the exact same thing. My husband said we drifted apart shortly after he started his job a little over a year ago. No matter what I did to get closer to him, he pushed me away.


Finally, he told me he was done with the marriage, but wanted me to still live in the house and help pay the mortgage. I moved out. It is easier not being with him, but it still hurts very bad and I still don't understand why his feelings changed like that. I was able to break into his facebook account and see that he is now listing himself as single and looking for women for friendship dating. I don't understand how people can change their feelings for someone just like that.


It has been by far the hardest thing for me to go through, and I assume you are struggling for answers yourself. Is there any friends or family you can vent to? I wrote a list of reasons to not get back with my husband and put them inside of my medicine cabinet so if I have a weak moment, I can look in there and go over the reasons to not call or e-mail him.


I am divorcing him and if he gets his head on straight and comes back down the road and I'm available, who knows??? For now, you have to take care of you and concentrate on getting you well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2008
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 6:14am

Thanks for your support. I have been told that the best thing I can do is to make sure I eat right, get plenty of exercise and treat myself to a massage/bath/ w/end away....easier said than done.


On the positive side, hubby sent me a text msg last night saying that he was moving back into the spare room,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 6:58am

Hey Charliegirl,


If you are able to live in a house where your husband is in a spare bedroom and continue to give you mixed signals, then you are a lot stronger than I'll ever be. My husband wanted to live on separate ends of the house together until the house was sold. He kept flip flopping back and forth. He finally told me that the marriage was over and wanted me to move to one end of the house. I told him no that I wasn't comfortable living in that situation and I wanted to move out. He even helped me move!!!! I think because he wanted to know where I would be living, but I'm not sure.


If it's one thing I can take comfort in and the one thing that keeps me going is, I know I did everything I possibly could to hold the marriage together. He left thinking that there are better things out there in the dating world. He is in for a world of surprise when he gets out there. I spoiled that man through our 11 years together. Everyone I talked to says that he'll probably want to come back in a couple of months. I may no longer want to after living out on my own for awhile.


I established a no contact rule and haven't called him or wrote to him. He wrote to me once saying he had my mail and wanted to bring it to me. I said no. It's easier to