How long did your divorce take??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
How long did your divorce take??
25
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 10:12pm

OK, how long did your divorce take? Or, of you filed, how long have you been waiting to this point? It's been six months now, and I am REALLY starting to get impatient. He always seems to be able to do something that puts the date out. His lawyer fires him for nonpayment, he doesn't hand in what he's supposed to...etc. I am just really getting tired of this hanging over my head indefinitely.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:37pm

My d can't come soon enough but since we can't agree on anything ($$) the date just keeps getting push back.

I'm going to guess it might be Dec.

daff

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:10pm

Well, the time leading up to the filing was the long part.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 5:47pm
4 years and counting.

Peace,


Di


***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 11:29pm
You are lucky you had the money to fight. All I had was $5,000 and it took every penney of it plus more. I am sorry you feel I just "rolled over". I did the best I could.
Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 11:17am

Brenda,

I am sorry that you took my post as a direct attack. To be honest with you, I have a tendancy to hit "REPLY TO POST" after reading the entire thread/conversation, and comment on the whole issue to that point, rather than go back to a specific post/person to respond to. (Maybe I should get the paid membership? Is the format any better?)

Here in Connecticut, we have No-Falut Divorce. If someone wants out, the other person cannot contest, and the reasons don't matter. I wanted out, my Ex developed a gambling problem, that lead him to defaulting our mortgage, stealing from his company, etc. I took my girls and left. Since I was the one that *wanted* the divorce, he decided that *I* don't deserve the child support/alimony/equitable split of assets... so he quit his 120K a year job, and took a 12 buck an hour job.... making my c/s 350 week and alimony 150 week number from the state's program... go down to 125 a week child support. He stole every penny from our bank accounts, cashed in his life insurance policy, forged my siggy on "our" 2004 tax returns, and cashed in on that without turning it over to his Attorney's Escrow Account as he was supposed to... I can go on and on. Well, this man has decided to work part time jobs, under the table, cash, delivering pizza, painting, car repairs, lawn work, snow removal, you name it, he fessed up to doing it at yesterday's deposition... but doesn't consider this INCOME to be considered in supporting HIS CHILDREN. When I said I could "roll over", it basically means I can be divorced from this guy any day this week, or next, and probably could have been close to a year ago... but I want him held accountable to his children. If we separated, and he took his financial responsibilities the way the state required, I would have signed an "agreement", but no way can I let him get away with screwing my kids out of support... Oh, and a side note, he is dad of the year... takes them to the movies, plays games all the time, nothing responsible... no homework, sick nights, doesn't buy sneakers or school lunches, you know all that REAL PARENTING stuff... he gets away with just playing, and not even supporting them financially. I won't allow it to happen.

So, I didn't mean that YOU rolled over. I just meant that my divorce has taken 17+ months so far, because I won't "just agree" to what he has to offer right now. On the bright and very fortunate side for me, I found a fabluous job with an Attorney who is doing my legal work free, since I do "most" of it myself... other than court appearances, etc... I do the documents, pleadings, agreements, etc.

Aside from that, as a pesonal note to you... I feel sorry for you that you want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be with you. I hope that you find the strength inside of yourself to be a strong, independant, happy woman, without a man that only brings you down. Believe me, I had no idea that I had it in me... I was a SAHM for 10 years, no education, hated my marriage, but was "happy" because it was "the norm". We argued about everything (always seemed like it was nothing stuff, but it was always), but we had the house, the cars, the kids, the pets, the vacations, etc.... it's what was "supposed to be". Now, I am working full time, my kids are happy, peaceful children. I have more time to spend and enjoy with them, stress-free, than I did married, and home full time. I found the strength to "do it all" myself, be happy with myself, proud of my accomplishments, and yes, I have been lucky enough to meet a wonderful man who treats me better than anyone in any marriage I know... Unfortunately for me, stagnant, boring, rut marriages is all I know... mine, my friends, etc... WE all deserve to be married to our best friend, who wants to be with us, respects us for being who we are, and treat us with the care, passion, and trust that we deserve.

Hugs to you!

Kerry

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 6:57pm
I was married to my best friend. :( Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 02-10-2006 - 3:35pm

I'm in Michigan. There is only a 2 month waiting period if you don't have children together. I filed on October 5th and was divorced on January 3rd and I did it all on my own.

Sorry yours is taking so long. (((hugs)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2005
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 11:54am
I filed in Nov of 03 but didn't get serious about stuff (getting documents to att'y, etc.)until Spring of 04. X dragged his feet, was uncooperative, etc. until my att'y got very aggressive. She subpeoned his work for employment/benefit/bonus documents, etc. She filed contempt of court motions when he kept delaying things, and that always got him moving. The real down and dirty part of our divorce started in March of 05 (when things finally started moving) and we ended up going to trial in Nov. Fortunately we ended up settling (sending "offers" back and forth from different conference rooms at the court house) and didn't have to actually go to trial. Whew. If I were you I'd tell my attorney to light a fire under his butt. Your attorney needs to get a lot more aggressive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
Sun, 02-12-2006 - 11:12am
My husband filed in March 2005 and wer're supposedly signing papers in March 2006. What a rotten year.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 11:54pm
We signed the papers and filed them on sept. 6 and the divorce was granted that day. I moved out on Aug. 21 with the kids. We decided to divorce on Aug. 13. I'm an attorney and even though there's a cooling off period, we both waived it and then I walked the papers to the judge's office and asked him to go ahead and sign off on it. I do wonder if we should have waited since I have had some doubts and have wondered if we should have tried counseling longer.