How long do Divorces usually last?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
How long do Divorces usually last?
4
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 12:58pm
I have a friend and he is going through a divorce. Yes I am a W who is friends with a M and that is it just friends. I just didn't want anybody to get the wrong impression. I was just wondering how long an average divorce with children lasts. I just wanted to know how long he was going to be in his depressing funk. and wanted to know how long he it was going to be until he is himself again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 3:01pm
I would like to be able to tell you that it wont last that long but it really depends on him. I can tell you that for me it took over eight monthes before I was even starting to get back to my self but you will never be your old self again. I was married for eleven years and there are still times that I find it hard to belive that its over and done with but much faster than it all began. I cant say that it was the wrong thing that happened in my life because I was blessed by god with three wounderful children that there is nothing in this world anyone could give me for. I have a much better life now but like I said there are times that I still feel the pain and wish it would just end but you have to be able to pick up the pices and move on. I wish your friend all the luck in the world and may god be with him. Also I thank your a great friend for being there for him in his time of need there arnt to many true friends in this world and when you get the chance to have one you never forget that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 9:29pm
Thanks for the reply. I guess I'll just wait it out and be a shoulder to cry on if he needs one. He has been married for I believe 13 years and he says it has been bad for a long time and he cannot fix any of it. It is sad how fast things like that can end. As of now I am one of a select few he has told about this and I am shook up about it I didn't know we were that close but apparently he feels he can trust me with those things. I wished I take his pain away but I know there is nothing I can do for him but listen. Thanks again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 9:46pm
Also just to add that with most divorces the time that it takes before it is final is norm six mnths and one day. I wish him all the luck in the world I know how hard it is when I went through mine it was the worst thing in the world that I thought I could go through. As I said I had been married 11 years and found out the day after my anv. my wife was seeing a coworker. I went through alot of pain staking hrs of not sleeping worried about my children, writing leters that never even mattered to anyone. it was all a wais of time other than worring about my children. I am living my life today one day at a time and have my son who lives with me and I get my daughter every other weekend and then some. Life for me has gotten beter but it has been two years now and I have found myself picking up the pices much easier than before. Like I said there are good and bad days but with friends and family it does make them go by quicker. God bless you for being a friend and being there for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 9:04am

I'd love to say that in 28 days and 23 hours he'll be out of the funk but it just doesn't work that way, everyone has their own process to work through.

But I will say this, nobody goes BACK to the way they were. They are forever changed by their experience. I know I was. I am a changed individual because of the divorce, the experience of my marriage, my husband cheating and the process of the divorce.

It took me about 11 months to go through counseling and come out a whole person on the other side, but i know I changed and it was definitely for the better. But I'm a little harder, I'm not as naive and I'm much stronger of a person for the experience, so I am definitely not ms. doormat as I was previously. So if anyone expects me to be the same old person I was before they are going to be mistaken. I'm not the same old girl that they could walk over before.

Smile,

Deirdre