How long does it take?
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How long does it take?
| Mon, 07-04-2005 - 6:33pm |
I was just wondering how long it has taken others to stop feeling such terrible pain. I just feel like I have been hit by a semi truck sometimes. H has no bad feelings he is just as happy as a clam.....hes out today on a lake with god knows who...How can you just forget that you have a wife and family?...Right now, hes living in that fantasy world. He has not thought for one minute about paying child support, handling 3 small boys without me when he has them and having to look at my face for the rest of his life. I know that sooner or later he is going to have some deep regrets to live with and I hope that everytime he sees my face he remembers every terrible thing he has done to me.....I just want him to feel pain. I hate to admit it but I do. I think he thinks that I am going to be all nice and passive if we split too.....OH yeah, think again buddy....I am a christian, but I will be damned if hes out partying and riding around in his hummer living his little mid life crisis, while the kids and I are stuck in some apartment.
He just thinks I will be nice and just let him do what he wants, dream on buddy....My heart is shattered but I still have a mind. I just should not feel this much pain and agony over some one who cares nothing about me.....what in the heck is wrong with me.....
He just thinks I will be nice and just let him do what he wants, dream on buddy....My heart is shattered but I still have a mind. I just should not feel this much pain and agony over some one who cares nothing about me.....what in the heck is wrong with me.....

Hard to say, Hannah.
the pain fades... it fades when you realize you're just fine without him... but the anger? heck, i'm still annoyed with my ex and that was 4 years ago... i don't carry it around with me but if i think about it too much, i can still work up a really good mad!
it's just a roller coaster ride and a really good look at your insides... everybody's different, of course, but these feelings you have will fade... they will ebb and flow but they will fade.
you'll be ok :)
(((HUGS))) Sweetie. I cant say i know what you are going thru, b/c my divorce was my doing - but i left an abusive alcoholic, so it wasnt my "fault" i need to get out.
Hannah,
I'm in the same boat as you. My H just knows he's "unhappy" and thinks us divorcing will allow him to be "feel alive" and "breathe" (I swear he said those things!). Like you, I wonder if he has really thought about what it will be like having 2 smalls girls alone and making a decent 2nd home for them to visit. He is sleeping on friends couchs having no responsibilities while I'm home taking care of house, kids and working full time. I keep telling him he needs to find a place to live and he says, yea, i gotta work on that. He wouldn't even know HOW. I have always done everything for him. If it wasn't for the kids, I wouldn't care if he slept in the street! But he is living the easy life, crashing wherever, pops in to visit or take the kids for a few hours. BULLS**T! This whole thing is not fair.
I go back and forth between anger and pain so I know where your at. Obviously this is one of my angry moments! :)
Good luck to you! Just try to focus on you and your boys...in the end he is the one missing out...be glad that YOU are NOT!
Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda