Interesting observation - there does seem to be many of us who have had 'longer' marriages on this board lately!
I too was shocked when my husband dropped the news on me that he didn't love me anymore and 'couldn't be married to me'. It has been almost two months and I am just beginning to grip with the reality of it. Of course the fact that he hasn't moved out yet (not until next week) hasn't helped any either. How could I have been with him so long and suddenly feel like I didn't really know him at all?
I agree with you - it is hard to take their thoughtless and self-focused 'decisions'. I suspect my stbxh also suffers from depression - he has been drinking quite a lot lately (which is not my problem anymore). His father was an alcoholic and he himself had some issues with alcohol a few years ago.
I am really trying to be a forward thinker and not focus so much on what I have lost but it is really hard to do on a consistent basis.
I am sorry you are having to go through this and that he is sitting on the fence (not making a decision to commit or not).
Yes, that is exactly how I felt....that at this point we could make it through anything.
My dh also said he was tired of "pretending" all the time, that it was my fault he suffered from depression (twice he said, but, um....it is an ongoing issue).
It has completely turned my entire life upside down.
Interesting observation - there does seem to be many of us who have had 'longer' marriages on this board lately!
I too was shocked when my husband dropped the news on me that he didn't love me anymore and 'couldn't be married to me'. It has been almost two months and I am just beginning to grip with the reality of it. Of course the fact that he hasn't moved out yet (not until next week) hasn't helped any either. How could I have been with him so long and suddenly feel like I didn't really know him at all?
I agree with you - it is hard to take their thoughtless and self-focused 'decisions'. I suspect my stbxh also suffers from depression - he has been drinking quite a lot lately (which is not my problem anymore). His father was an alcoholic and he himself had some issues with alcohol a few years ago.
I am really trying to be a forward thinker and not focus so much on what I have lost but it is really hard to do on a consistent basis.
I am sorry you are having to go through this and that he is sitting on the fence (not making a decision to commit or not).
In reference to the 7 yr itch being replaced with the 17 year itch:
Yes, that is exactly how I felt....that at this point we could make it through anything.
My dh also said he was tired of "pretending" all the time, that it was my fault he suffered from depression (twice he said, but, um....it is an ongoing issue).
It has completely turned my entire life upside down.
Good observation!
My stbx left me and our son in January.
The things that trigger our emotions always
Actually, that was a misprint....I went back and read it and it should have read "an almost 16 year old son and an almost 14 year old GIRL"
I know what you mean about the sadness and anxiety.
It's okay to jump...you have wings!
To move forward...you have to stop looking back.