how to move on
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how to move on
| Thu, 08-31-2006 - 9:15am |
Its been almost a year im seperated , after 19 yrs of marriage my ex came and told me "he found what he has been looking for" of course a co worker how convient for him , i had no idea our marriage had alot of ups and downs mostly do to his job responsibilies but to make sure you have a sure thing then leave has left me very angry. All the time he spent with his co worker getting emotionally attached as he puts it was time he never spent getting to know me even after being together twenty four years, my question is to guys out there how do you do it , right now i wish i was a guy im not sure my ex is anything more than a selfish coward , he blames all the problems on me because he doesnt like conflict and runs from emotions. The best is im left living in his home town with no family here of my own because my three kids have lived in this area for the past eight years and dont want me too move . I can't stop thinking about him and all i gave up during the marriage , he is my past not my present , i have had little to no contact with him for almost a year (only if i have to) I never conforted the girlfriend , had it out with his parents anything i can honestly say im better than that!i feel he doesnt want me its his loss, he has destroyed his kids for that i cant forgive , does anyone have any advice other than it gets easier with time because life is short and i want to be free

shakenseperate...
Pianoguy would like to respond to your post since your situation and his are somewhat similar?
Marriage #1 lasted 16 years. It was 8 years too long, but our attitude was: "stay together for the benefit of the boys!" MAJOR MISTAKE! Children are the first to know when Mom and Dad aren't "turned on" by one another...and are existing as "roommates!"
She filed...I signed the papers...end of story EXCEPT for the fact that she remarried within 2 years!
The GFH (Girlfriend from Hell) was a mistake on my part...plain and simple. But like your husband, I think I turned to the woman for comfort, security, love and...S-E-X? All of these qualities were terrific during the first year. After that, ALL 4 went to hell and a handbasket! Especially when the GFH decided to cheat with an EX and attempted to move him into our home! S bought my half of the house out...I left...and for all I know, she's messing around with somebody else?
Marriage #2...what started out as 'the happiest day of my life' lasted for a brief 15 months! Yes..my NOW 2nd EX was beautiful, quite a bit younger than me, was originally from a 3rd world country, and her sole objective was to get into the United States. After which, she disappeared! I miss T occasionally, but doubt I could trust her if she ever came back into my life? .
The point of the past 3 paragraphs is this. Not ALL men are cowards, cheats and cads!
Some of us "fall out of love"---but there are women who do this too! Some of us feel that there's nothing we can do that will make our partners happy---but there are women who feel this way too! Some of us reach the age when we have the need for a complete change (the job, where we live and who we're with)---but there are women who feel the same way.
Even though a year has passed since you communicated with your EX, it's obvious that you're still upset? But is your 'misery' HONESTLY giving you any satisfaction? Forget about what he may or may not have done to his family...instead...focus on what THEY are seeing in YOUR MANNER OF BEHAVIOR?
I'm not saying that you don't have the right to be angry, but don't you think that it's time to move forward with your life...now that more than one year has passed?
I'll bet you'd be a lot happier in the long run if you can look forward and not look back?
Pianoguy
Hi there!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~