How to start new?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2011
How to start new?
4
Sun, 11-27-2011 - 4:29am

After 5 years of marriage I have come to realize it's over but the hardest part is telling myself I have to let go. We've though of seperating about 6-7 times during the last years but always end up staying together carry on like it never happened.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 7:23am

Starting over again IS scary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 8:11am

I love the way you think Ollie.. I love it

Okay.. I agree with Ollie and I would like to add yes it is very challenging starting over. Cant take that away from you. I started over and got a 2nd. Divorce at 51 years old.. and it was not easy but I did it one step at a time.. I was in therapy and support groups and I had some pretty amazing friends and family... You do need a support group around you whether it be with friends , family or just attending support groups. There must be something like this where you live.. A womans group helped me alot during my divorce time. All women in the same situations sharing and caring and validating. It was great.

I also like to view things as new beginnings and new firsts.. Like I flew alone on

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2011
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 1:28am

Thank you for the message you have left.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 9:16am

oh; A big hug to you and your husband said some mean things to you.. What kind of man tells his wife about his new gfriend.. I am not sure but it sounds like you might be better off without him.. What a heartless person and with no regards to your feelings. I cant imagine what it was like being married to him.. Share here if you want to and vent if it would make you feel better.

Well? If there are no groups where you live then keep writing on this board and making friends here and sharing stories.. Seeing a counselor is very good and maybe you can sign up for a class of some kind.. They must have a HS adult ed program or college near you even if its a small town.. There you can do something you like and maybe meet others.. Its worth a try and some adult ed classes are very inexpensive..

Congratulations on eating right and working out.. That should make you feel somewhat better but you will still hurt and be angry and a host of emotions.. Dont be so hard on yourself because you are going through a lot of pain.. It is a difficult time and be good to you. Take a bubble bath .. Read a good book. Cook your favorite foods.. Write in a journal.. Just nurture you because right now that seems to be all you have. YOU and you can start there.. and one day you will move on to the next phase.. It is very challenging at 58 to start over.. I am 57 now and its been a whirlwind of things. Actually I cant complain for the last few years have been okay.. Many ups and downs but for the most part pretty good at times..

Keep moving forward one step at a time and know that you are doing well. I can only bet