How to Survive THIS ???
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How to Survive THIS ???
| Fri, 06-27-2008 - 2:11pm |
I am new to this board but I feel as if anyone can understand or help w/ what I am going through it would be this group...I feel like what I am living day to day is something only I have experienced....PLEASE someone tell me they have been in this same position and one day it will be better......here goes my divorce story. First of all I need to give you a little history on me...My parents divorced when I was 6 (I thought that was the most devasting thing I'd ever go through...My mother remarried and had a child. My mother, step-father, and 1/2 brother were killed in a car accidnet when I was 9 (Devastation again). My father

Gosh, all I can say is aren't you glad to be getting yourself out of that family?
Nobody said that D was going to be easy and your XH sure isn't making it that way for you.
Thanks so much for the reply...I know there are many lessons to be learned but I feel these lessons have come @ a great cost to me, our kids and even him (see additional post). My daughter swears she will never marry, my youngest says he wants to move to California. What kind of examples
Read up on Narcissitic Personality Disorder! that mother in law has it written all over her! Her son too! My EX has narcissitic traits..and guess what? they say that this "disorder" usually appears its big head around the age of 20.
PART II
Before I moved we had to list the house w/ a realtor....I was still living in the house when she came out to look @ it etc. She and I talked, I told her that I'd be moving and STBX would be in the house & she'd have to deal w/ him when it came to showing the house and all that stuff.....It took almost 3 weeks before he ever signed the papers to list the house. She and I talked and she said she did not get a good vibe from him. He was mean, hard to get along w/ and felt sorry for me. I was happy that someone who had nothing to do w/ us could say this...it was not llike she had something to gain by saying this. The "FOR SALE" sign went up and just as fast it came down !!! STBX would take it down unless she was showing the house or he knew the realtor would have to be there to take pics or whatever. It was used in court that he was sabatoging the sale of the home, and still to this day he is. The realtor wrote a letter stating that it was more like a boy's dorm room than a house..things she has told him need to be done, have not...He does not care. He thinks he can do what he wants to w/out any reprucussions.
So in January I moved....things seemed to be going well until one day I spoke w/ my cousin who was the STBX's boss @ work...I had called him to see if STBX still had a job, I had heard through the grapevine that he was in trouble @ work. The story I heard was that my cousin and STBX had argued about me. I knew that was a lie because the cousin is to much of a "seperate work from family" type man. I asked cousin if STBX had been fired and all he could tell me was that STBX no longer worked there...In the town we live in everyone seems to know everyone else..So my phone started ringing w/ stories of why STBX had lost his job. The truth finally emerged...he had been drunk on the job, driving a company vehicle, argued w/ a store manager. So he was fired on the spot !!! Lost his health ins and all the perks that go along w/ a FT job. I cried, the kids cried, my family cried. I called the STBX and had a 2 hr civil conversation. I was on the internet looking for him a job, any job. His brother (the law abiding policeman was telling everyone that my cousin fired STBX because of me !! ) Honestly, what would I gain from him losing his job...NOTHING !!!! I did not argue w/ him at all about this..I knew he was in a fragile state. With nothing to do all day he started sending our daughter morbid text messages during school hours...things like "Always remember your Dad and that he loves you"......"Never forget your Dad" all that sort of stuff. I thought he was on the verge of doing some thing really stupid. Somehow he made it out and now has a new job.....we all have health ins again. But that job may be short lived (more about that later on in this post)......
Things were quiet until one Sat night I was watching Lifetime and there was a knock on the door, I peered out the blinds and it was a younger looking guy. Thinking it was someone who knew my daughter I opened the door and he asked if I was _____________ and I told him yes. He told me he was serving papers. Seems to be the STBX had been to see his attorney 2 days before he lost the job and now he was taking me to court saying I took everything out of the house......I moved from a 2000 sq foot house into a 800 sg foot duplex...there is no way in the
I am trying so hard to de-tach but he will not let it happen nor his family...why can't they just let go ?? It's like I am beng punished for wanting the divorce to begin with. I have really thought about AL ANON for me and the kids.