How to tell my kid
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How to tell my kid
| Thu, 02-08-2007 - 2:55pm |
I have requested that my husband sign the papers to start moving forward with our divorce. We need to tell our 11 year old son. Do you have any suggestions on how to do this?
Thanks,
Delta

I just told my children what they needed to know.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
I agree wholeheartedly with the last poster. Keep it simple and repeat on a regular basis how much you both love him and are there for him. Would like to add that you may want to draw their attention to positive examples of divorce working out well (maybe a friend, relative or book character?). Also, my son has spoken to his guidance counselor at school and seems to have a good raport. They are going to be having some lunch dates together soon along, with one or two other kids who are going through the same thing. I take them along to my sessions with a family therapist but, he is still building a relationship...giving them treats and just saying hello at this time. He thinks this should go on for a bit so they will get to be familar with him and his office that way, they will be more apt to open up and actually share. So glad for the guidance counselor because, the relationship is already there. Last time they spoke he said he was angry and cried, he never has done that for me and though I am a bit wounded he can't share with me I'm so glad he was able to get it out.
Even though, I hate my husband right now, I am going to help the kids make Valentines for him.
There are lots of good books. The Sandcastle book. A book by Emory -- The truth about children and divorce. Also, Mom's House; Dad's House. Anything by Wallerstein.
I consult those titles.
We haven't told ours yet. Working on financials and parenting plan with a child psychologist. That would be another possibility ... talk with a psychologist with expertise on children and divorce.
M
I didn't tell my kids until I knew when we were moving... and where we were moving.
Then, I just told them that mommy and daddy would be happier if we lived in different houses, and that meant that they would have TWO rooms, TWO beds, TWO toothbrushes, etc. and exclusive time with me, and with their dad.
Everything was.... "you'll get to...." not "you'll have to..."
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~