How to tell your spouse you want out?
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How to tell your spouse you want out?
| Mon, 08-13-2007 - 2:53pm |
It is time for me to end my marriage, after a long and rocky road. This will not be a complete surprise for my husband. I know I need to do this, but I am having trouble finding the right words to tell him it's finally over. He is going to be very hurt. Does anyone have any advice on what to say to break the news? I really need some help here, so any input would be great.

I just want to say that would be the first question I would ask someone also. That is my biggest problem knowing what to say and when to say it.
Just wanted to let you know your not alone. Thats why I'm still married.
Please keep us posted.
Wish I knew the right words for you.
Having been on the other side of that conversation, I have only a little bit of advice:
Be clear, don't beat around the bush or be vague. If there is really no hope, don't leave it like there is. My former husband was so unclear about what he wanted and what he was saying I finally had to be the one to say (after 10 minutes) - "Are you saying you want a divorce?" He just kept saying things like "I've been unhappy for a while. I'm confused about what I want. I feel like I've made some life decisions that aren't workng for me." (he also failed to mention the affair he was having but it doesn't sound pertinent to your situation). Of course it was a total shock to me and it doesn't seem like that is the case with you.
So again, be specific. Something like, "I've come to a very difficult decision. I know this will be hard on both of us. But I have decided it is best that we get a divorce."
Chances are you have already thought about where you will live, etc. So be prepared to tell him that as well. You didn't mention if you have kids and that of course is another thing you will need to discuss.
that is JMO and others might have different advice. This conversation won't be easy for either of you but if you made this decision, you owe it to both of you to be frank and honest in this talk.
You say he won't be suprised.... why not ask him what HE thinks?... "I know that you realize our marriage isn't what we both wanted for it to be... what do you think?"
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~