How were the holidays?
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| Mon, 12-29-2008 - 10:57am |
How did everyone cope on the holidays?
I actually worked 1/2 day on Christmas eve. Since my kids weren't home, I did some baking, went to church and watched TV (the show about the family with 18 kids--that fascinates me). Christmas Day I went to my mother's and then we went to my cousin's for dessert, so that was nice. At night, I did end up going to my STBX's friend's house for a while after they had eaten. There weren't as many people there as usual--the "kids" are now all over 18. My STBX's DD was invited but didn't show up. I don't know what is going on w/ her. I was glad that he had a place to go for dinner so he wouldn't be alone. The funny thing is that most of the guests there were his brother's exW, her kids & her brother & sister. (The brother & his new wife now live out of state.) My STBX can't stand her, I'm sure she was the last person he wanted to eat Christmas dinner with.
Then on Sat. I was also invited to my 1st exH's family Christmas party. He asked me to go and then his brother (who was hosting it) also called me, so I went. That was a little strange since it was only the immediate family, so my ex was there with both current & ex wives. I guess it doesn't bother her. I do get along very well w/ his brothers & sisters so I don't feel funny being around them. We got divorced about 12 yrs ago anyway.
So I guess I am done w/ parties for now. Since I don't have any expectations for New Year's Eve, other than watching the ball drop on TV w/ 13 yr old son, it won't bother me to stay home. When I was w/ my STBX it's not like we did anything fun anyway.

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Hi music....I spent most of Christmas Eve with my sons.
Mine wasn't too great.
Hi Music,
You must be the best ex-wife ever to get invited to the exe's families! ;c)
STBX and I seperated right at the start of the holiday season......a week before Halloween.
Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige
I am wondering what it will be like when the kids grow up. Hopefully they won't move far away. DS told me that his dad mentioned something about taking early retirement (after DS graduates from either h.s. or college, I can't remember which) and moving to Fla. (we live near Boston now) and DS said "I don't want dad to move to Fla. How will I visit him?" Of course DS can't see that when he grows up, he might not even live in the same state, but he probably will cause he's not the adventurous type.
I have one legacy from STBX's dog & cat (I am not someone who ever wanted pets)--I will probably have to get the living room carpet replaced cause the cat used to go in the corner & use it like a scratching post! Oh, I need so much work done in the house, I can't even stand it!
It is so funny that you mention that you have more money now then when you were together.
If STBX just ignored my kids, that would have been an improvement. Actually, he was pretty nice to DS, who was just 7 when we got married. At first DS did like STBX, because they would do stuff together like practice karate. STBX is pretty good w/ little kids. I'm sure when his DD was little, he did a lot of things w/ her & her cousin the same age. It's when kids get to be teenagers and get a mind of their own that he can't stand it. I'm sure it bothered him that he knew right from the start that DD didn't like him (she was 14 when we got married, not a good age for change). I was always reprimanding her to at least be nice to him, to say hi when she came in, stuff like that. After a while, though, his behavior was so bad that I couldn't ask my kids to give him any more chances. Even though my DD never liked his DD either, she felt sorry for the way he treated her. I mean, can you imagine yelling at your child and calling her "You little sh--?" I just do not talk to my kids that way. Sure I have yelled at them and done things I was sorry for, but I would apologize later if I went overboard and we would always work things out. He was so insensitive that his DD could be sitting there crying while he was yelling at her and he would just keep at it. Then when he was yelling and verbally abusing me, my DS just couldn't stand that. Both my mother & I were afraid that if my DS got to be a teenager and got bigger (my ex is 6'1", but I doubt DS will be that tall), he would intervene and there would be some physical fight between them. I just had to avoid that. I don't want to beat myself up about this too much because there's nothing I can do about it now but I really would give advice to people w/ kids contemplating a 2nd marriage--make sure the kids and the future stepparents really like each other and everybody is on board and happy that the marriage is going to take place. There are enough problems even with that, but if you don't have that, forget it! DS is in 7th grade now and I really wouldn't consider moving another guy in, not that I think it's going to be a possibility even to get another BF, but if I did, I would probably wait at least until he was in college, or maybe even after they were both out of college. If there are just 2 of you and the kids are only visiting, then it's one thing. It's just very hard to blend the families. Well, better luck to us next year.
Liz
Liz,
I'm with you regarding giving advice to people thinking about entering into a second marriage with kids.
My Christmas was okay.
Well my holidays were pretty crappy.
My wife and I are following the schedule in our soon to be signed separation agreement.
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