Husband just told me he wants a divorce

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2005
Husband just told me he wants a divorce
11
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 1:46pm
My husband just told me in an email he wants a divorce. We have been together for 18 years, married for 13 and have a 12 year old son. He says he has been unhappy with the way things are for the past year but he hasn't talked to me about it. Things got bad before Christmas but I thought the problem had been resolved. Turns out he lied about working things out just to get through the holidays. I don't know what to do. I feel like this whole thing has come out of left field. I know we have gotten into a rut but I thought we still loved each other and told him that I was willing to do whatever it took to save our marriage because nothing means more to me than our family. I asked if he would be willing to try a marriage counselor but he says he already has a hard time talking to me about our problems (no doubt how it got so far without me even suspecting that something was very very wrong) and he feels a counselor would make that worse not better.

I am so scared right now. If he wants to leave I can't make him stay. A divorce would be financially devastating for us. I work part time and homeschool our son. Even if I put our son back in public school and find a full time job, I still won't be able to afford the house. I'll lose my home, car, insurance, credit rating (I'll probably end up declaring bankruptcy because I won't be able to pay our debts) and possibly my pets if I can't find a place to live that will take a dog and cat.

I honestly don't know what to do right now and just want to cry. I have been trying to act normal all day because my son and his friend are here. They were supposed to be going on a field trip but it was cancelled due to the snow storm we are having. I think my husband sent me the email because the boys were supposed to be gone all day and he thought it would be a good time to talk. Now I have to act like nothing is going on while my heart is breaking and my worst nightmare is coming true. I really thought we were going to be forever, you know?

Sorry this is so long, but I don't really have anyone else to vent to right now and I had to get it out there. I can't believe this is happening to me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 9:55pm
I have never used ivillage before tonight and I was just trying to stop thinking about my own marital issues when I discovered your message.

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