I am losing all hope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2008
I am losing all hope.
18
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 4:48pm
I am going to be 40 in one month and am getting a divorce. He left me, and I have had two miscarriages and no kids, no healthy family (all alcoholics and in mental hospitals). I escaped them, worked my out of there through lots of schooling while working FT. Yet here I am, alone, no kids. I can barely function at work, I think they think I am nuts there after my constant leaving to go cry in the bathroom. Can't afford to take time off or lose this job. Have a therapist, but the pain grows and hope diminishes more everyday. What can I do? I want to die, I can't stand more empty hopeless days. I was keeping busy until now, now I can't do it anymore.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2008
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 8:26pm

You will need to focus on yourself inside and outside. You could start with getting a new hairstyle, color.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2008
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 11:02pm
Thank you so much for responding to my post. You sound like such a special woman full of courage to survive through that torment. I am so sorry that you had to go through that hell but am amazed you turned it around to turn yourself intothe one in power and with purpose and direction. I will do my best to follow your lead. Thanks again for this gift.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2008
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 11:05pm
You are describing exactly what I am going through. I am sorry that you are suffering too, but so glad I am not alone. I wish both of us future happiness, we both deserve it. I will talk to my MD this week. Thanks again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2008
Wed, 10-29-2008 - 1:37am

somersetrose:

Trust me, you're not crazy. The inability to do things that we take for granted like sleeping, eating, BREATHING; all of that is part of the unfortunate process. It feels like HELL, and it is. It is a sign that you truly gave your heart to this person. I totally understand the feeling of losing hope: for over a year I lived with my wife as a roommate in an attempt to salvage the marriage. I finally left because she STILL wanted a "separation" but after 2 months she finally admitted that she was done. That year together was bad enough, between the mental torment and anguish, but the 4 months after my moving out I was suicidal. I'm not ashamed to say it. I went through hell, and even now I have my bad days, but IT DOES GET BETTER. Please know that! You will someday look back at this and it will make you a better person; you don't really care about that now, but do understand that the pain does subside, and good things start happening! You deserve better and you will get it.

God bless,

HMR

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Wed, 10-29-2008 - 7:50am

I've been there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2008
Wed, 10-29-2008 - 11:54am

I have been very happily married for over 10 years (together for 15) to a man 16 years younger than me. He had nothing when I got with him and I owned my own house (no mortgage), had a good job, nice car etc. I loved him so after 5 years we married and set of on our adventures together. We sold all my stuff raising about £300k and he wanted to do property developing so I supported him, using my money to buy property etc but somehow we never made money we lost it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2008
Thu, 10-30-2008 - 2:52am

Are you happy with yourself? It seems as if you have contributed to a greater portion of your marriages happiness.


Do you trust your husband? If you do then do you trust that he would love you enough to find out what has made him so unhappy and tell you? People control their own happiness. Do you believe that what ever has made him unhappy, that he can control what direction he will take to make him happy again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2008
Thu, 10-30-2008 - 5:22am

Hi


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