I am now DIvorced

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
I am now DIvorced
5
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 7:09pm

Well, it's official - I am now a divorced woman. My ex-husband (wow, that's weird) and I had our appointment today with the Court Case Manager to go over all of the details. The meeting lasted about an hour and a half, and at the end of it we were told "Ok, the judge will sign this today, and you'll both receive copies in the mail, and that's it, you're divorced". I have to say it was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. Even though I'm the one who wanted the divorce, this still was not an easy day.

I'm very glad my Ex and I were able to do this without fighting. I knew he wouldn't fight me on anything - he's just never been that type. I knew I'd be able to get everything I wanted out of the divorce, so I wasn't worried about custoday, the house, the truck, etc. And it was all done for $147 dollars!! We didn't use attorneys, we filed our own paperwork, and the Court Case Manager filled in any blanks we had.

My only problem now is where do I go from here? My Ex is convinced that he'll be able to win me back, because he says he's changed (haven't we all heard that before) but I know it'll never happen. I am being nice about everything, just because that's how I am, but my love died for him a long time ago. I know I need to focus on my own future, and that of my 15 year old daughter, but I feel kind of numb. I don't have a big support system of friends or family, so I'm kind of left to fend for myself on this one. I don't even go to an office everyday - I work out of my home, so I never get a chance to talk to anyone. I live in the middle of nowhere (New Hampshire) so there isn't a lot of activities around here, and I have some physical medical problems. It's very hard to see a happy life down the road with anyone else, but I know I have to figure out who I am first. I just don't like to think about how hard it's going to be.

I'm happy about the divorce - it was something that needed to happen, and I know I did the right thing. I just hope that life is going to be kind to me going forward.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 7:35pm
wow! how did you achieve a divorce for only $149??? I am looking for every way possible to save money through this! Even if we dont hire an attorney adn just go through a legal document company, i am looking at $630!!!! I'm sure your court costs were half the price, but still any information you could give me would be great! Where to get all the paperwork, did you file online? ETC.... thanks so much for anything you can offer me!
--k
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 9:13pm

GOOD FOR YOU! But *I* want to VOMIT! Lord, i am 4K in & no where NEAR close to done!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 9:20pm

Hi K -

The $147.00 was the filing fee for a "Joint Petition for Divorce". It was one sheet that was filled out by both of us, and it had to be notarized. After the form was filled out, I returned it to my local county family court division office and paid the filing fee. A few days later, I received paperwork in the mail, that needed to be completed, which included a financial affadavit, and a monthly expense form. I also received a Certificate of Divorce/Legal Separation, which only I received as the petitioner.

My Ex and I filled out our individual paperwork, and brought it to the Case Manager Meeting today. The Case Manager went over all of the paperwork, and any things we had not completed, she discussed it with us, and we decided. We covered custody, child support, the house, the vehicle, medical, etc.

Since my ex and I have been getting along, and to be perfectly honest, since everything was going to me anyway, I decided not to have the final stipulation reviewed by an attorney. I don't have the money for it either. I don't know if this can be done in all states, (I live in NH) but I would imagine it could? Since I live in a very rural, and remote location, that could be why the cost was so low.

I would suggest that you call you local county family court and ask if you can do the divorce on your own, and if they provide the documentation to be filed. That's all I did was call and ask questions, but it was my decision to not have an attorney involved at all. Here's the link to the New Hampshire Family Court Division site that might help answer some questions for you- http://www.courts.state.nh.us/fdpp/index.htm

Let me know if I can answer any other questions, and good luck.

suzq

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 8:15am
I just wanted to send you some (((HUGS))) (((HUGS)) (((HUGS))). And tell you that I know what you mean about it being too soon to see yourself with someone else. I'm right there with you, on that one. I am still married, but moving out soon, and so is he by this Sunday so I'm not where you are at. I still feel married...and can not see myself with someone else. I think time will tell on this. I want to wish you well with creating a new life and healing from the pain that has come your way. And maybe some day that new person will apper and it will feel righ...and you will dive in.
Blessings to all,
Anna
In Love and Peace, Anna
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 11:21am

I'm so impressed, congratulations to both of you for divorcing so amicably and efficiently. Ours has cost each of us tens of thousands of $'s and isn't done yet--after 2 years due to custody fights. Give yourself a huge pat on the back--you're off to a good start.

Treat yourself well, and enjoy your new freedoms. Being single isn't half bad when you were unhappily married. Try not ot isolate yourself at home, look for new things to do, new places to go and new people, men AND women, to meet.

Good luck--think of this as a journey or a new life experience. You will come to know and love yourself better than ever! That's the first step.