I am regretting it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2006
I am regretting it.
4
Wed, 04-02-2008 - 4:57am

I walked out on my husband back in september. He was abusive physically, emotionally, and verbally. I met a guy I really liked online around may, and finally got to meet him in august. He was everything I could ask for in a man...he has never been with anyone sexually but me, and

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 04-02-2008 - 9:07am

Luv,


Yes, your daughter needs her father.


No, she doesn't need a father who BEATS HER MOTHER!


You did the right thing by leaving the abusive situation you were in. There was no alternative except your injury and possible death, and eventually the injury and death of your daugther. You see abuser aren't content to just hit you after a while, they will KILL you to keep you from leaving.


Your STBX is doing what abusers do best: laying on the guilt trip by promising to make it "all better" if you just come home to him. (And oh

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 04-02-2008 - 10:06am
the best thing you can do your for daughter is not move her away from her daddy. you said it yourself, she deserves to have her daddy in her life. I would tell "perfect guy" he needs to move where you and your daughter are and if he really IS perfect, he will understand that this baby girl's relationship with her daddy is more important than you guys moving to where he lives... If he doesn't understand that, then he's not really THE perfect guy...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2006
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 12:17am
I had to talk to STBX today and he is still doing fine. We are making an arrangement for him to come see our daughter sometime tomorrow afternoon. As far as me leaving 'perfect guy' for the X, I don't think I can do it now. Yes, I still love the STBX dearly and I do miss him very much. Yes, in the back of my mind there will always be the questions...could we have really tried and worked it out? Could we have stayed together and been happy as we were at one time? I am finding the divorce very hard to deal with. At one point, we were very happy together, inseperable. He was my first and I was his, and we grew to get married and raise a family. As of now, with me talking to him today, it really hurt and tonight I just know I am going to break down talking to my B/F and he is the only shoulder I have to cry on now, he is the love of my life now, and somehow this all still hurts very deeply. The B/F understands and he is there for me 100%. I thought it would be easier than this, and now looking back on us, it seems as if this is going to be the hardest thing I have done in my entire life. Divorce sucks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 10:56am

Yes, divorce is hard, but despite the fact that maybe you had some good times w/ your STBX, you have to remember that he was physically and emotionally abusive to you, not to mention that he drank.