I am so frustrated by the legal system

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
I am so frustrated by the legal system
1
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 2:12pm

I posted back in april - when is enough if enough? I finally reached that point and STBX and I seperated in early Sept. We have on DD age 7.

A little background - We live in a very expensive resort town - where housing prices have gone so much it is not affordable even to rent. I bought my home prior to marriage. STBX and I have ALWAYS had completely seperate finances because of his lifestyle choices. He chooses to work seasonally (just winter and summer) and not full time at that. He chooses to spend his time working on projects that bring in no income. He chooses to go play in the mountains a lot while I work or take care of DD. His choices were o.k. with me as long as he paid his share of bills and our finances were seperate - I was saving for my and DD future. It never would of been o.k. with me if I thought he was going after a piece of it. Did I mention, I also took care of all of house hold and DD.

Flash forward - we are in mediation. He wants his fair share of the house and 1/3 of everything I've saved during the marriage. I have made him two generous offers in mediation - he agreed - only later to change his mind and come back asking for more. Legally I know what he is entitled to but morally it is wrong. And there appears to be some grey area legally - so if I take him to court there is an unsure outcome. Hence I want to work out something fair to both of us. He is not only hurting my future but our DDs as well. If I have to give him half the house, I will have to sell it. If I sell it I cannot afford to get back in the market here and cannot afford the rents. Which means, I will end up moving with DD and we all will lose. And I have worked really hard to create a secure financial future - which will all go up in smoke.

I am just so frustrated. Here is this guy who works maybe 4 months a year and not full time at that. We had seperate finances which allowed me not to resent it - and now he comes back and asks for it. I am just so angry and frustrated.

Any advice would be great

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 12:52pm

Hi!~


If you had the house prior to marriage, he's probably "entitled" to half of the equity GAIN since you got married, but as far as deciding whether to take him on legally for what you feel is morally right... well, that all depends on the $$$ amount of the assets being considered.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~