I can't believe he's pulling this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2006
I can't believe he's pulling this!
2
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 8:47pm

Background: I filed for divorce and custody of our now 14 months old son in August of 2006, been separated since June. STBX has been dilly dallying doing anything about it. He just got a lawyer in December. Anyways, We've been going back and forth to come up with an agreement. We agree on everything having to do with the divorce, just not custody. I got a letter from my lawyer today and STBX is accusing me of child abuse!!!! He says there has been 2 incidents when our son has "been returned" to him (HA...he gets returned to me, dumbass, but that's another story) with a pinched, swollen finger and a bruised pinky. My goodness...has he never been around a child before? They get hurt. He plays with the bigger kids at daycare, so he tries to do things he's not big enough to do. I know it's going to come up that I had to take our son in for x-rays on his arm last Friday. But I was so respectful that I invited him to come along too, since it is his son.

I so badly just want to play dirty back, but I don't want my son thinking that his mom is a terrible person later down the road. But I'm in a no-win situation. I don't do anything about it, and I may lose my son. Retaliate and lose my son's respect and make this whole thing worse for him.

Oh, and here's the kicker. I guess according to him, I'm living with my boyfriend. Which he doesn't like. And he's also stooped to accusing my boyfriend of some of the same things. Guess what idiot...you can't prove I live there even if I am. I stay most of the time there, but legally, I'm still at my house. So he can't prove a thing.

I guess this is just more of a vent, but if anyone has any advice, I sure could use some right now. I don't know whether to be angry or cry.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 9:27pm

White,


Hi. It would be best to document everything that happens to your son. Ask his daycare to do so as well. It doesn't matter how trivial, it's important you write down every boo-boo and pinched finger. Photograph any kind of injury as well with date, injury, how it happened and what you did about it.


It's a very fine line you walk when accused of child abuse and if it was serious then you'd have a state department social worker at your door demanding to see your child. To avoid being investigated you need to document your child's injuries and take extra care in seeing to any kind of injury he suffers, as trivial as it seems.


I'd also advise you to NOT stay at your boyfriends house for the time being (whether you are or not). Don't give your STBX any more ammunition than he's got. It's early in the game and you'll have to be patient.


CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 9:47pm
Protect yourself. If they do investagate make sure you do everything you are asked. I just wanted to tell you a story. My BIL got divorced five yrs ago. When he left he called CPS on his wife. She was a pig and lived in mold and trash. Their son even told his grandma that his mom burned him with a cigerate. They had pictures of both the trashed house and burns. CPS investagated and she still kept her kids. They said because she did everything CPS told her to she was trying. She went to classes and was checked up on weekly for a while. He fought hard for the kids but did not get them. My advice is just document everything and do what you are asked if you do get investagated.

 

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