I *despise* my X!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
I *despise* my X!!!!!!!!!!
14
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 9:19pm

Things have been fairly sane & quiet. He hasnt been causing any issues, has seemingly been in a fairly decent mood when I drop dd off or pick her up. I even LOANED HIM $75 on Sat, b/c things had been so calm for about 6 weeks or so, I was hoping helping him out a bit would keep things on an even keel. NOT so!


Earlier today, freind dropped dd, age 7, at dance & X

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 9:35pm

*hugs*

I can't say anything beyond wishing you luck with all this. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and Averey.

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 9:37pm

R~


I don't blame you at all for being mad... I would be right there if I were in your shoes.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 9:54pm
I am so sorry this is happening to you and your wonderful little girl. Neither of you deserve this! Hugs and warm thoughts to both of you. Vent away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 11:12pm
I'm sending some good vibes your way...... HUGS!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 7:43am

Oh Rebecca, I always admire your strength and composure. I think your plan sounds good, if he wants to rock the boat, he'll have to face the judge and SHOW UP. ARGH. Your poor daughter.

Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 8:23am

Rebecca, something just occurred to me. A few years ago, when XH was depressed and wasn't able to take care of the girls, I talked to my lawyer about it. Here's what she said....

As my lawyer, she was obligated to tell me that I should not withhold visitation from my XH.

BUT...... as a mother, she told me that she would never let her children go with anyone that she thought would be a danger to them. That she would go to the ends of the earth to protect them.

Then, as my lawyer, told me that IF I felt that the children were in danger and wouldn't let them go with him, the only thing he could do would be to call the police. I was instructed to explain the situation to the police, that I felt they were in danger, and she said that as my lawyer, she would defend me to the ends of the earth for protecting my children.

Make sense? As my lawyer, she couldn't advise me to do it, but as my lawyer, she'd defend my actions, because she knows that I wouldn't hold the children from XH for spite. There have been plenty of times I'd love to keep them, but he's not as abusive as your XH......

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2005
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 9:44am

Oh I feel your pain! I read your updates all the time and boy can I relate! My X is as crazy as yours and it infuriates me that he takes all his crap out on the kids. My 12 yr old recently is refusing to go stay at her dads...simply won't go...I can't physically force her into the car (and wouldn't make her anyways) So, now he takes it all out on my 7 yr old son...Unlike your X...mine would take me to court in a heartbeat and currently in the middle of a bitter custody battle. He has the money to file motion after motion after motion and pay his high priced attorney. And just like you the courts have done NOTHING to help protect my children....they are being emotionally abused and noone gives a crap about that...it's as bad or worse than the physically abuse...something needs to change with our court systems and start to recognize the emotional toll these things take on our children.

Anyways, just wanted to say....I understand and feel your pain. Stay strong and give her lots of hugs and love!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 9:54pm

Thanks SO much everyone. Just knowing you are all praying for Averey, helps. We will get thru it ... we've gotten THIS far, & as bad as it can be, its NOTHING like still living with him.


Not sure WHY, again, i tried to talk any sense into him, but i sent this today - after he called this AM trying to be nicey-nice on the phone to me, asking about her coming over tomorrow nite. I didnt give him the time of day.


I sent this today:


" I think you should know that she obviously feels
> nervous at times when you act like you do with
> yelling at her & as she says "being cranky a lot
> lately". You admitted you do yell at her - & saying
> she "Needs to get used to it" is completely unfair
> to her - a CHILD.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 6:05pm

It so amazes me that he cannot remotely see what he is doing to his child. All this anger about you and he just continually is verbally abusing your daughter and she is cowering in a bathroom afraid of him. I cannot believe the courts in RI are so friggin blind to this, no offense but that's one state I'll never move too as nice as it is, after reading all this, they have done NOTHING to help you. The courts are ridiculous there.

I am so terrified everytime I read your posts. Can't you get visitation stopped for the verbal abuse on A? and the fact that she's scared of him?

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 6:43pm

Thanks for your thoughts. & youre so right, it is ABOMINABLE that he is allowed continually to treat her this way, literally emotionally abuse her & get away with it - over & over & over. Thats why i dont hesitate at all to just protect her myself by keeping her from him when he is like that (again, i SWEAR its BiPolar, he has his weeks of being ALMOST pleasant, & then his weeks of being horrendous).

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