I emailed him after n/c for 1 month~WHY?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2002
I emailed him after n/c for 1 month~WHY?
8
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 10:09am

I am not sure why I broke down and emailed this man, he is not deserving of any of my time. I'm kind of angry at myself for doing this. but i'm okay with it also. I emailed him Wednesday night. This is how the email went:

<<<<<<<

These poor people lost everything they owned. But you know what, most are thanking God that they have there life and there loved ones, not there possessions.
You were more worried about your possessions than your loved one (me, your soulmate in your words...geezzz). You always said that if you found a woman (me)that you couldn't live without and wanted, she wouldn't want you. I loved you SO much and ADORED you.
Oh my gosh, I use to rub lotion on your feet because I knew you needed it, for being on your feet all day and I knew you enjoyed that and I enjoyed doing that for you. I have NEVER done that before.
That is why I will never understand why you treated me the way you did.

When you read me that letter you wrote and couldn't send on your computer...why did you tell me that you wouldn't have a problem filling your bed up. Were you trying to bug me by saying that. It did hurt but I guess if thats all your looking for.......I think you would be better off laying your possessions next to you in bed..I think you would be happier.
Just because things didn't go the way you wanted them to in YOUR TIME FRAME, you have to go running to Berens office..sad!! very sad. (Berens is his Attorney)
We don't have to burn bridges you know, but if thats how you handle things, well then maybe I'll just see you around sometime...Vicki>>>>>>>>

But this is really one bridge I want to burn, why i told him otherwise not sure...should I email back and tell him that I really do want to burn this bridge because he is not worth knowing....I get so mad at myself for being so nice to such an evil, nasty man...I really don't want him to think i'm still interested and right now i'm sure thats what he's thinking....HELP...Victoria

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2005
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 11:32am

I heard (on this board?) that "silence is the best revenge." I've been in my own apartment five weeks today and haven't called or e-mailed my STBX once. I don't miss him either, because this is *my* place, he's never lived here. And he's pretty much killed any feeling I had for him by his behavior over the last year.

I do see him once in awhile. I'm still packing my stuff up over at the house so I run into him sometimes. His mom wants me to be his *friend.* I told her maybe sometime in the future, not now.

So if you don't want him to think you're interested in him, just be silent. Easy to say, hard to do! I also heard "it's easy to be patient when you have something else to do in the meantime." I'm trying to make a new life that doesn't have anything to do with him. It's going pretty well so far. I never knew I had so many friends. "Living well is the best revenge." Another saying!

These sayings really help me.

Barb S.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 11:44am

Hey Missy,


Lashing out at him and taking digs at him is an exercise in futility and may very well backfire. You will have questions for years to come.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2002
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 8:18pm

I'm wondering what you meant by I could have a setback and it could bite me in the arse. What could bite me in the arse. I am very upset with myself now for even emailing him.. Do you think he is sitting back saying to himself ..Yep! I knew she couldn't stay away from me...thats usually his thinking. I want to erectify this...How do I do it?

Do I email back and tell him I WANT TO BURN THIS BRIDGE FOREVER. OR NOT SAY ANYTHING?

But what is bugging me is the fact that I already emailed him. AAARRRGGGG!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 3:59am

What's done is done. Whether or not your shoudl have e'd him, or whether or not it made him think

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 8:01am

But what is bugging me is the fact that I already emailed him. AAARRRGGGG!!!!!


Then why on earth would you consider emailing him again?

Sanguine
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 3:27pm
Oh, Victoria, I am so where you are. I have those same questions, want those same answers so badly. But for every time I've picked up the phone or sent "that" email, I've been SORRY, really sorry, almost immediately afterwards. And I got NO answers. Just a bad feeling that I'd just taken a step backwards.
I'm really looking for to the publication of Greg Behrendt's (of "He's Just Not that Into You" fame) new book. It's about getting out of a broken relationship, once and for all.
They don't deserve any of our precious time or emotional energy!
Sophie
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2002
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 5:20pm

Sophie~
I was really mad at myself for doing it. But i'm ok with it now..at least he can see I'm not the jerk here...But I can guarantee you this, it better not happen again. I have too stay STRONG.

I did get a laugh out of a post that someone put on another board and they told me to stay strong hold my head up and I will get past this and have a good life and he will still be a psycho, now aren't you glad your not him..I thought that was hilarious. I'm sure he is trying to impress his next victim (maybe his 5th wife..hahahah)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 6:19pm

I will get past this and have a good life and he will still be a psycho,


I have a towel hanging in my powder room that says, "Better to have loved and lost than to spend your entire life with a psycho."

Sanguine
Sanguine