I feel mixed up!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2000
I feel mixed up!
3
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 8:22am

Hello, I have posted previously and today I am feeling mixed up...my final divorce hearing is next Thursday morning. I have mixed feelings about ending this marriage. I have not spoke with my husband since January. He has tried to contact me and I have ignored him. I feel bad due to the fact that I was pregnant with his son, he tried to see how I was and I ignored him because I was just too hurt from all of the things that he has done to me (telling me to leave when I was 9 wks pregnant, wanting a divorce, living with other women, using my credit for his benefit - I had to file bankruptcy.) He says he wants me back,he loves me,etc. I know even though he did all of this to me, I still love him. I dread the hearing next week, I am trying to get myself on track to not break down in the court room crying. I just want him to love me like he used to - we were only married 2 1/2 months when he wanted a divorce. We moved fast on everything...and I mean everything ( married, had baby,etc.).

I appreciate any and all replies!

Happy Friday!

Christy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 9:00am

Hi Christy... I know that, for me, I felt like if there was ever a chance for us to be together again... that I had to back all the way up, and really start over with no strings left dangling from before.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 9:08am

HUGS! That is an awful lot for you to go through in such a short period of time.


Even though I knew 100% that I wanted to divorce, the final court date was still nerve-wracking and scary to me. And I couldn't even really pinpoint why.


It really sounds like your STBX has taken complete advantage of you. I know you still care for him, but I think you're wise enough to realize you don't deserve to be treated like this. What does your gut instinct tell you? I think when we dig deep, we often know what the real answer is (ie - it's time to get a divorce).


And listen, even if you do happen to break down in the courtroom, it's not the first time they've seen it, nor the last. It's OK to show emotion. Just make sure you walk out with your head held high :)




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 9:09am

Just remember, if he truly loves you, he can come back even after you are divorced. I certainly wouldn't entertain a reconciliation without major counseling. I would hate to think that he would use you only to leave again in a year or two. Right now the baby has to be priority. Take care of yourself.