I finally asked for a divorce...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2006
I finally asked for a divorce...
4
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 7:05pm

I finally did it. I chagned the separation agreement to a divorce today. I don't want to be divorced but he fluctuated between the man I really love and being emotionally abusive. I hate who I am when he starts. I blow up, hurt, and scream and I can't seem to get past him and the horrible things he says. How the hell can a man walk away from a family. We have 3 kids and he isn't willing to work on things. then he tells me he loves me.

I am so scared........and angry. Someone please tell me these feelings pass. I am guilt-ridden that the kids are going to hurt so much. He is not even spending the time with them that they deserve on top of it all.

Also, I am reading a great book. It is called "When Anger Hurts Your kids; A Parent's Guide" by Matthew McCay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 9:28pm
I don't know your whole story but I sense you've done the right thing. Yes, it will get easier, although I know that's not easy to picture at this point! Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 2:02pm

I have a LOT of


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 9:38pm

I think you went through one of the scariest parts of a divorce today....actually filing. I was more scared on that day than any other day during the process that I can remember. Even if you know it's the right thing, it is still such a huge step to take. Be proud of yourself for recognizing you need to do this.

Also, yes, you can and will feel better, I promise. If anyone had told me a couple of years ago that I'd be this happy and content with life, I'd have laughed at them ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2006
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 12:43pm
Thanks for the book list....I feel like my brain is in slow motion lately. It's nice to pick up a book and realize it's not just me. I didn't want this divorce, but I can't force him to stay and be with me and the kids. Reading and realizing I am not losing it is a good place to be right now!