I finally decided to do it- now what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
I finally decided to do it- now what?
14
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 3:57pm

My DH and I have been together for 8 years and married for about 4.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 11:32am

Thanks for that honestly.


I'm playing the same game too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2008
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 3:01pm
Hi. I am in the early stages (haven't filed yet - have my first lawyer mtg tomorrow) of the divorce process with a man with whom I've been married 9 years, 4 of which were okay. There were warning signs before we married - I knew he had a panic disorder, drank a little too much beer, came out of first marriage with a bankruptcy. But, you know, love, blah blah blah. After about 4 years the mental illness issue really reared its head and panic and anxiety and a tendency toward depression escalated into his diagnosis of bipolar disorder. 5 years of instability later and all the same debt issues that you face, he's gone off meds again, become unstable again, etc. Frankly I might have allowed it to end a long time ago (every time he destabilizes, he bolts the marriage - 3 times in 3.5 years) but, you know, I am a stickler for vows and that little matter of 'in SICKNESS and in health.' I felt I could not abandon a partner in a mental illness situation. However, I have finally, finally accepted that stability is an impossibility and we are moving forward on the divorce. Clemclem44, I just want to point out, if someone is behaving in ways that are aberrant and irrational, don't overlook your gut feeling that there may be a mental disorder at work. That inability to care for self, the money problems, the neediness, etc. - these can all be indications.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 2:42pm

Yes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2008
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 10:56pm
Wow I thought I was going crazy and thought I was the only person that felt the same way you do. During our marriage I did what ever I could for him and I told my DH many times that if things didn't change that I would leave. Now that Iam serious and we are separted he wont stop calling, texting, notes in my car, anything. But I don't want anything to do with him! I have no physic

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