I GOT SERVED
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I GOT SERVED
| Fri, 06-02-2006 - 9:34pm |
Anyone know of a good attorney in upstate NY?
Edited 6/4/2006 10:30 pm ET by justmee06
| Fri, 06-02-2006 - 9:34pm |
Anyone know of a good attorney in upstate NY?
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New York does not have jurisiction over you or your children if you have been living in another state for 6 months or more. Sure, they can serve you, but you can get an attorney to enter a limited appearance in New York to quash the subpoena for lack of jurisdiction.
My opinion to you is not to give New York jurisdiction over you and your children. You want the home state advantage to enforce child support or other modification issues along the way. Make him have to come to you in your own state. Even if you file in NC, he can do the same to you, so you should wait him out. He seems desperate to get a divorce, he will have no choice but to file in NC and give you the home state advantage if he wants out of the marriage.
Strategy my dear justme..... : ) You are driving this bus!
She says in her post that she has only lived in another state since April 28, so that does not give her residency there. The home state of record is NY because they are a military family. Unfortunately, the juridiction will be NY.
As I suggested, you should get yourself an attorney, who will know the "details" of this situation and will communicate with his attorney. You can try to "drag it out" all you want, but in the mean time, who suffers? And, in the end, the same result, just less money in your pocket.
I tried to wait it out with my X and got no where. The whole thing ended up costing me major money and it wasn't worth it!
We can all give you "our story" and "advice" but unfortunately we are not lawyers, we are only speaking from a position of what happened in our particular lives.
From what I understand, neither your nor your husband reside in New York and haven't for some time. I might have you confused with someone else, but I think you said that you haven't lived in NY for some years. If that is the case, discuss what I said with your attorney. Believe me, it is less costly for you in the long run to have home court advantage. I think you said you already have a child support and alimony order in force through the military. Holding out a little longer should not finacially affect you.
Talk to a lawyer in the state you are in for advice on how to proceed. Do not give another state jurisdiction if you do not have to. By knowing your rights ahead of time, it could save you a whole heck of a lot of headaches down the road.
Just answering the petition in NY will give that state jurisdiction. Since you know you are going to be served within the week, you will have 20 days within which to answer or file a motion to quash. As I said, talk to your attorney. Be careful of what advice you get here. Only your attorney can guide you in what is in YOUR best interest and the best interest of your child.
I had a good girlfriend of mine whos X husband was in the military and he cheated on her and she tried going to his command about his affair and was told that unless she had caught them in "the act" or had pictures that there wasn't anything that they could do about it, it was all hear say! I've never really been around the military but I can only imagine that it's a "good ole boys club".
Well I hope that whenever you get your paperwork that it's not as bad as you think it is and that maybe it's something that you two can settle on. Just remember that anything that you and your STBX agree to isn't about what you want and isn't about what he wants, it's all about your little one.. A lot people point fingers at each other, call each other names and really say things that they don't mean. The only people who really get hurt are the little ones. Hope that you keep us posted on what happenes with the paper work. Good Luck!
Justme06-
Well I have read all of the posts, and I must say that I am quite interested in all of your happenings. I do agree very strongly with one of the bloggers that suggested that you can post all you want and listen to all of the advice, but it really comes down to what you want to do with you life. YOU create your own destiny!!!!! Let's think about this for a min., or try to rationalize what has been stated so far!
Yes the military doesn't look lightly on adultery, but unless you can prove without a shadow of a doubt that there was an affair (and I mean hard core evidence) then it is unnatural for you to think that there was an affair. It is all good that your STBX's SgtMaj. will vouch for you, but what is that really going to do for you? The courts will most likely look at that and say where is the proof? Really that is all they care about, and then they will look at you and point thier finger and say what is it that you really want from this man by claiming adultery? If it is a nice judge they won't automatically think money, but haven't met one of those yet!!!
As far as you saying that he is going to marry the girlfriend, or that she is supposedly pregnant, well once again to you have proof of any of that? These sound like nothing but speculations of your STBX's life, and I am here to tell you that it is going to get you absolutly nothing...well...maybe an ulcer! Stop worrying about what he is doing, and where ever you may be getting your info about your STBX consider the source. I mean the one statement about "karma is a bitch" is true! You unfortunatly have to be the mature one here, and really so does he and the girlfriend, b/c if you think about it how does raising your voice or posting your complaints get your any where really? If you don't sit down and really think about what you need to make you happy then your divorce hasn't even started!
Justmee06 ~
Ummm, what happened to the rest of your original post and your responses...it says they have been edited, yet there is nothing there, what happened? That's weird.
First of all he filed in court under cruel and unusual punishment, he's the only one who would have to PROVE anything he brought the suit into court on cruel and unusual punishment in NY so he would have to prove that so if she were to countersue on cruel and unusual punishment in regards to the adultery I think she'd have more leverage with the military behind her than his claims.
Secondly she can complain here all she wants, this is a message board for people in the midst of surviving divorce, that's what the board is for and quite frankly I'm getting a little tired of people beating up on her in this thread. We are here to support those going through the difficult time of divorce like all the rest before us. She can complain all she wants here and we will help her through it, there is an ignore button at the top of the threads if someone doesn't want to read them.
Thirdly, Everyone here deserves our respect and time not ridicule, divorce is not a funny thing and I for one don't want to see anyone driven away from this board because they don't feel that they are safe here.
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