I have a new Divorce Goal! ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
I have a new Divorce Goal! ...
13
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 7:07pm
i have been trying to decide "When do i take off my wedding rings? I am not quite ready yet, & that's ok. Not b/c i think we are getting back together .... i dont know why i dont want them off yet. Maybe b/c i LIKE them! lol 2 cararts of diamonds & platinum is hard to give up!

Plus, the main big diamond was my Grammas. Also, Averey would notice RIGHT AWAY as she has always loved & talked about my "married rings". For her sake, i wont take them off anytime soon, SHE certainly isnt ready to see them gone yet. & when i do, i think i will wear the engagement ring on my right hand. It doesnt particularly look like its JUST an engagement ring, its one large diamond w/ 2 smaller diamonds going down each side.

But ANYWAY, since i have gained SO much weight since i married almost 7 years ago, my rings wont come off! So ... my goal will be instead of having them cut off, I will lose enough weight to GET them off ... & i will be well on my way to being single & in shape! & MUCH happier with myself. I am joining wieght watchers THIS WEEK! Plus i have 3 weddings this summer to attend, one of which is in Napa Valley, CA!

R~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 7:14pm

Hey Rich,

What a great plan!! Weight Watchers is a wonderful program. I lost alomost 50 pounds on it a couple of years ago but then quit when things got super stressful around here. I've been thinking about going back. Maybe I'll do the program again and we can support each other in that too!

Good luck to you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 7:19pm

Yeah! I have about 60# to lose! YIKES! I never had a weight issue b4 this. We married in 1998 & i am now exactly 65# more than when i walked down the aisle! OUCH!!!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 7:36pm
I think it's a great goal. I started gaining weight as soon as I got married. Looking back, it had to have something to do with knowing I made a bad decision and felt stuck. Near the end of my marriage I was diagnosed with a rheumatoid arthritis and one of my first symptoms was involuntary weight loss, so I didn't have to do anything special (but don't be jealous, my disease is no fun). I got back to the weight I was when I married, and lost more than that after I was separated. Trust me, feeling good about how you look does a lot for you after divorce. I had to start weight lifting in order to gain weight (something my bf first encouraged me to do), and now I love my muscles. I eat so much healthier than I ever did when I was married. I look forward to summertime and sleeveless shirts. I highly recommend exercising. I also take some really fun exercise classes - strength training and kickboxing being my favorite.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 10:14am

Hi! I don't think there is any time line as to when you should take your wedding rings off. I think it is a matter of choice...for me I took mine off the very same day we split up! He was such a cheap b@#$*&d that he bought my wedding rings in a pawn shop, three years after we were married. Gave them to me on our 3rd wedding aniversary! What a standup guy! I took those wedding rings back to the very same pawn shop and sold them. I just hope they don't jinx someone else's marriage.

Great goal! I started working out in December and have lost 38# so far! The problem that I have though, is the disease I have. When I get stressed, it makes my stomach swell up and I don't look like I've lost any weight. Oh well, my divorce should be final on May 3rd depending on what my STBX tries to pull! Good luck with your goal!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 10:46am
count me in on the weight loss plan! i gained soo much weight in the last few years. i need to lose about 65 or so pounds. i have gone down in one dress/bra size in the last year - but that is not enuf!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 1:19pm

Great! "New Lisa" E me (Nwptrn@yahoo.com) & we are doing it! I plan to really buckle down next Monday. I joing WW next Thurs & then will shop & cook on teh weekend.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 2:28pm

Well, I will respond to both the ring and the weight issues. I ditched my wedding rings when my stbx finally came clean on the new relationship he is having. It seemed odd to wear something that was supposed to represent our undying love while he was off with some other woman. Oddly he still wears his.

I have lost 35 lbs going to Weight Watchers. I have 10lbs to go until I reach my goal. The funny thing is that my rings were too big to wear anymore. I was actually afraid I would lose them because they kept falling off my finger. Anyway, I am looking forward to getting rid of the last ten pounds and feeling even better about how I look. My stbx's jaw almost hit the floor when the realtor asked how much weight I had lost. He was shocked. To bad he won't get any of the benefits of my new hot body. My realtor is now going to Weight Watchers too.

Good Luck!!!!!

If you have any questions, let me know. I am really good at finding low point snacks.

neverdull

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 9:41pm
I will be in touch! Good for YOU!

R~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 9:43am

GOOD for YOU!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 11:41am

here's my funny story: while we were still married, i also gained weight and ended up taking the rings off. not - as my stupid idiotic then husband thought - because i was trying to be "not married", but because they were really uncomfortable. anyway, we finally go to therapy, and i am bringing up all the issues - his abuse, sexual issues, money issues, etc and what is the ONE problem he has? he is upset that i am no longer wearing the rings. even tho i explained that i was trying to lose weight, and i really didn't want to enlarge them.


ok, so being the good little wifey, i went and had the rings adjusted and wore them. like THAT was going to "fix" the marriage.... yeah, right. stupid idiot ex didn't bother addressing any of the REAL issues....

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