I hope this is normal
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 04-01-2005 - 3:08pm |
Sorry for this long post, but I need to vent and I am curious if anyone else had this happen. Yesterday morning H called me and told me that he was disconnecting the internet and changing the cable to only basic because he wasn't paying the high bills. I was pissed but told him that he could explain it to the kids when they got home from school. Of course the kids get home from school and they both call me screaming and yelling about it. I told them to talk to H. When I got home from work both kids were still steaming and I guess H told them that the cable people came and took the boxes and internet because we didn't pay the bill. Right in front of him I told the kids, no one came to get them that H had returned them because he said the bill was too high (it is only $120.00/mo).
So after the kids were in their rooms H started in on me about money. He told me that I am financially irresponsible (I take care of the books for 3 companies, so yeah that makes sense), a spoiled brat and I would never be able to make it on my own. I told him that this was his choice and he is the one that decided to stop his direct deposit. I have always paid the bills and taken care of the finances and not had any problems but now that everything is seperate and he wants to give me certain things to pay and he takes certain bills that it is more difficult but that I am doing the best I can. All of a sudden the light has gone on in his head, the bills haven't changed, only now he sees them. I had unexpected car repairs to pay for because in the last snow storm I went off the road with DD. H said that isn't his problem. Not to mention that last month when the mortgage was due H only gave me $1,000 because he said he needed the money for something else, so I had to come up with the remainder to make sure it was paid (over $1,400). Then H goes and starts complaining about me getting a haircut, etc. I told him whatever, I am entitled and won't answer to him.
Then we both calmed down and started talking. I asked him if he heard from his Atty, that she should have received the information she was waiting for on Tues. and we need to move forward and get everything done. I told him everything has basically been decided and that if he didn't agree to what was in the letter then it was going to cost both of us more money. That if he was going to continue whining and crying about how much CS he has to pay and how much he has to give me from his portion of the sale of the house to balance everything out, then there wouldn't be much to cry about because most of that money would be going to the attys. He said he knew that and wanted to move forward.
I continued to tell H that I want to move on, I am sick of the BS and sick of seeing the kids go thru this. We are all miserable and H is going about his life like nothing is wrong. I told H we are no longer a family and he needed to wake up and realize that by his choices this is the situation. Right now we eat dinner, and the kids and I go upstairs and H stays downstairs. I have to tell you I am sick of not being comfortable in my own home. I told him all I want is to move into my own house with the kids and get on with my life. H had nerve to ask me, What about me? I told him you are responsible for your own actions, just like I have taken responsiblity for my past mistakes, now all I care about is the kids and I moving on with our lives. This conversation went on for almost an hour, then H got up and went into the bathroom. I heard the water running and he stayed in there for about 20 min., he came out and his face was red. I got up and went upstairs with the kids.
I want out and it can't happen fast enough, if everything goes as planned I will only have to spend 45 more days in the same house as him. I have even begun to pack and luckily we have extra space where I work so I have moved boxes of things we won't need right away here. I sat with my counselor yesterday morning and was trying to figure out when this all turned around. For some odd reason now I am moving forward and taking care of things to move on and H is standing still. The D was his choice so why isn't he doing anything to move forward? Has anyone else been thru this the roles reversing? Thanks for listening and making comments, sorry it got so long but I do feel better
DAF

I think people panic when the reality of a situation sets in.
I ended up having to help my EX pack his stuff..... but that meant that I could have some control over what was happening, too.
My then-STBX and I lived together while we were divorcing until our house sold.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~