I just caught him at OW's house!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2005
I just caught him at OW's house!!!
4
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 3:35am

I wrote in last week about how much H and i were not getting along...Well, everything has been going OK with us this last past week,,,,Well, tonite, DH said he was going to play poker at a co-workers house. He called at 9 pm saying they were taking a break and he wanted to see how i was feeling. Everything with me was fine, i was visiting my grandparents. When i left there to go home, something in my gut was telling me to go by and check on DH. Well, i went by the house and DH's truck wasn't there. I knew where this

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 8:00am

((((Hugs)))

I to was somewhat in your situation. XH and I were separated only by like 2 months and he slept with a close friend she got prego and he hid it from our DD and I until the day of the birth and then he chose to take our DD there to meet her new sister without talkiing to me first and then we could explain to our DD.

Only you can decide when you have had enough. You can tell us your side and we will all be for you (not that I don't believe you because I do) but only you and he really truly know what went on in your relationship.

Nobody wants to get divorced. Why do we get married - we get married to someone we love and want to be with forever. I was with my xH for 16 years (we were high school sweethearts) I am only 35. we have 6yr DD.

But what my breaking point was this "Do I want my daughter(s) to think this is acceptable for a man to treat them?" It is one thing to let this happen to you but do you really really want your daughter(s) or even son(s) to be treated the way you have been?

My answer obviously was no. But that is my choice. Will it guarantee that my DD won't ever be hurt this way? Absolutely not but I want to let her know you (dd, myself or you) are worth more than that to allowed to be treated that way.

Good luck in whatever decision you choose.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 9:22am
The only thing I can say to that is what the H was he thinking I mean come on how dumb does he think you are. Maybe its time for him to have a wake up call in his life serve his butt and get it over with see what he has to say then. You and your children deserve better than that. I wish you the best take care and good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 10:02am
Hi, I am Jill and I am new here and thought I would put in my two cents on my stbxh's excuse when I caught him. I checked the cell phone records and asked him who's number he keeps calling that has a voicemail with a woman Kristi. He says that I work with her husband and they share a cell phone, so I am actually calling for her husband. I said you have never talked about these people and you call this number several times a day and everymorning after you leave for work? And who actually shares a cell phone!? OK, GOOD ONE! Well, needless to say he was living with her two weeks later and is still living with her, but there is trouble in paradise and from what I hear it is over. Way to go you loser! He has also cheated on her already, so she is getting what she deserves by stealing someone else's cheating husband. These woman are unreal to think they have what it takes to get these guys to stay faithful. Good Luck with your decision, but I am glad my marriage is soon to be over and that I don't have to worry about him bringing me any std's. This wasn't the first time I caught him and then I find out from one of his friends all the other times he cheated, so good bye. I hope everything goes ok with the new baby!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 10:28am

Hi. I hope you're feeling okay this morning. You have every right to be angry, and I think you're right to ask for some help from your doc. I just started on anti-depressants a couple of days ago, and I'm told it takes a couple of weeks before you start to feel better, so ... the sooner you get started, the better. You need to have a clear head to deal with some very difficult issues.

I am generally not in favor of divorce. But there are times when it's clear that a marriage is not going to work. I don't know if you're there yet or not, but you may be. As far as having your husband present at the birth of your child, I would say you should do whatever you feel is best for you right now. Your baby won't know if he's there or not, and considering his actions, I think it's completely understandable if you'd rather not have him there. It's typical of an emotional abuser to place the blame on someone else, as in, regarding the divorce, "if that's what YOU want."

Having said all that, you said it's NOT what you want, so I would urge you to explore the possibilities of saving your marriage. Will he change? It's possible. But it won't be because you badger or guilt him into it. He will only change if he looks inside himself and makes some difficult decisions about what type of father he wants to be to his kids and whether he is capable of being the husband you deserve. You're a beautiful girl. You don't deserve this. Do what's right for YOU.

~Ghostwriter, M.A.