I NEED HELP QUICK BEFORE I GO INSANE

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2006
I NEED HELP QUICK BEFORE I GO INSANE
4
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 12:20pm

Hi...I have posted here once before. Long story short, my husband of almost 10 years and I have separated. It was all me...i fell out of love with him. I started dating about 4 months after separtating and have fallen in love with the OM. I have 2 children with my husband, 8 & 6 yrs old.

My husband of course is devastated because he loves me very much. The actual reason im going insane is because of my mother. We are very close, but she doesn't support me at in all this. She believes that I should stay in the marriage because of the children. She is telling everyone she can about what is happening and talking bad about the new man in my life. She said she will never accept him either. I just feel like im getting beat up every way I turn. Will this ever get better????

I would appreciate hearing from anyone about this!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 1:20pm

Hey, I'm sure this is tough. You need to live your life for YOU. Staying in an unhappy marriage is not the solution. It would be nice if everything worked out, but it doesn't! So go forth, ask your mom to keep her opinions to herself on this, as it is already a ver difficult situation.

I hope you find your happiness :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 8:34pm

Hi Kate!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 8:38am

You will drive yourself crazy if you try to make everyone happy. The best you can do is love and raise your children well, and be happy YOURSELF.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 12:06am

I can understand what you are going through, in a way.

I met someone very special to me after being seperated for only 7 months. The thing is that even before my ex and I legally and physically seperated I was already gone mentally. I knew I had wanted out for a few years. My friends were all sceptical, especially because my new guy is 9 years younger than I. We have been dating for 7 months now and I love him very much.

My advice to you is to go slow with the new guy. No need to rush into anything. Date him but make time to find out who you are as an individual.

As for your mom, well, she may be from the generation who believed that a marriage is forever no matter how bad. She is entitled to her opinion, but must be made to realize to keep that opinion to herself. It is your life and you are an adult. Don't push the new guy on her. Try talking to her and letting her know how her gossiping hurts your feelings. Tell her that you respect her opinion and advice, but that you feel different. Perhaps tell her that you love her dearly and wish to talk/spend time with her but if she insists on slagging the new guy or brings up the ex the conversation is over. If you truely know/feel that it is over with your ex then she needs to move on too. I'm sure after time she will come around.

Good Luck,

Dawn