I need some advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
I need some advice.
3
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 11:16pm
I get monthly maintence from my ex. Come the first of the year I will lose that money because of a stipulation in our divorce decree that states for every dollar I make over what I made in 2004 my monthly maintence will decrease by one dollar starting the next year based on the previous year's tax return. I will lose it because I am now working full time rather than 2 days a week. I have been wanting to save it so I would have some savings in case.... I haven't been able to save any of it yet. Lawyer bills, medical bills, hotwater heater broke, furniture for my house, etc... I keep hoping to save some. However lately I have been finding myself wanting buy things that aren't necessities. Things to make my place my own. Pictures, pillows, etc. Should I spend some of this money on me? I am afraid to because I have yet to live on just my salary for a month and find myself dipping into my maintence just to live. Is it possible to live on $1200 a month? I know it is, but I am used to living on 4 times that amount. There are also things that need to be done to the house. It needs painted, It needs new windows, It needs insulation, It needs new carpet in places. Should I use this money for these things? Which one would you recommend? How many of you ladies work two jobs? I have been considering this, but I don't know when I would do anything else. As it is I can't keep up with the house work. My house is as trashed as my life. I am really scared. OK, let me have it. I know I sound like a big baby, but I am used to my ex making all the decisions and am to scared to move. Thanks in advance.
Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 11:46pm

I know what you mean. I've been trying to fix my house up to. It's been neglected for so long and now it's just piled up. I got alot of the big stuff done with the help of friends, but I still have little painting and papering projects to do.

I think your best bet would be to hang on to the money and only spend on necessary stuff at least until you are settled and working. It will make you feel better to have that little nestegg for "just in case".

Also, about the housework. I have four kids so it's not easy. I try to make a list of things to do each day. I try to give myself small, manageable tasks. It gives me energy when I get stuff done and makes me want to keep going. I also tend to save the big projects for when the kids are with their father.

I lucked out and got two gallons of paint and 3 boxes of ceramic tile from a friend of mine. Tomorrow I'm painting my daughter's room as a surprise when she comes home. I can't wait to see the look on her face.

Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 8:56am

$1200 is not a lot, but you can do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 1:15pm
Thanks for this post. It made me realize the need to improve the surroundings after CAHL is a normal behavior. I have been trying to reign myself in as well. For the last 9 years I had been living with poor college student dorm style decor. That meant pretty much everything needs to be replaced. Couple that with the things which needed repairing and the costs are enormous. So what I have done is first think out carefully what HAD to be done now (for instance, reseal the bath to keep water damage from costing more) and what was purely for improvement. I planned out a whole decorating plan and decided what type of furniture and determined the cost for each. I made a budget for these things, planning to buy one thing at a time until everything was done. One of the first pieces I bought was a bed because the old one, over 10 years old, was junk. I still recommend putting a bit aside for savings each month as well. In fact you may want to postpone buying certain things until you have saved a certain amount of money in the bank. Don't worry if repair costs keep you from saving one month or two. Repairs are also improvements. Nobody wants their cellar flooded or the roof to leak. Fixing broken things is important. After collecting a savings, take your time to save up for, say, a sofa. It may take a bit of time but keep pushing forward and you will get there. It will feel good as you see even the little things getting taken care of, slowly but surely.