I NEED SOME ADVICE.(long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
I NEED SOME ADVICE.(long)
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 11:53pm

I've been with my husband going on 4 yrs, and we've been married for 1 as of september. We have problems like other couples, but I think ours are far worse. We have 2 children together, my oldest is 2 yrs old and my youngest is 6 months. When we found out that my youngest was going to be a boy, husband was so excitied and just couldn't wait until he was born. Well when my son was born, husband didn't want anything to do with him. Now that DS is older, Husband does do some stuff with him like feed him and play with him. But when it comes down to changing his diaper it turns into a huge ordeal. He complains that he works all day and that he shouldn't have to do that. Husband would rather play x-box than change the childrens diapers. We do have money problems, but the worst of it is that if I want to do something, I have to ask for permission and if husband doesn't like the idea, whatever it may be, I'm not allowed to do it. But he is allowed to go out and do what he wants. I use to have a male friend that I use to work with that my husband doesn't like because we (my friend & I) were close. But my husband was allowed to have a female friend who wanted to be with. my husband likes to flirt with other people, but if I do that then i'm made out that I want to cheat. Well now here we are being married 1 year now and things have just got worse. My husband enjoys beer...alot. Don't get me wrong, I drink but only on special occaision. If we take our kids out to dinner, the place has to serve beer. There also have been other occaision ... like DS needed some cereal so I called husband (who was on his way home from work) to find out that it was his cousins 21st b-day. Well husband said that he was tired and was going to come straight home and go to bed and that I was to get DS his cereal in the morning.But then husband asked if he could go to the bar and I told him that if he was to tired to get Ds his cereal that he didn't need to go to the bar. Well guess what, he went anyway and then tried to lie about going. But I caught him. And he has done that twice now. So now I can't believe what he says and I can't trust him anymore. So now i'm at a point where I no longer want to be with him. I'm past working things out, i'm not even going to waste my time on that because nothing will change. So now I just don't know how to tell him that I no longer want to be with him or be married to him.

So if any one can give me some advice that would be great?

Amy
Brooklyn 8/2/03
Ryland 5/4/05