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| Tue, 11-28-2006 - 10:04am |
In the middle of a divorce right now. We have temporary orders that we both share both physical and legal custody of our 2 kids (8 & 6). We go back to court in March to go before the judge for the divorce final, then in MA we have to wait 90 days after that for the divorce to be totally final.
I moved out of the home June 1, 2006 because I couldn't afford all the bills, mortgage, etc. I have a 3 bedroom apartment in the same town. We have the kids 1 week on/1 week off and they are doing really well. Their teachers think they are doing great as well as my daughters psychologist.
I do have someone else in my life and was forced to tell the kids about him because my "ex" mentioned in front of them about him and my brother told his 3 girls who are older about my new man. I basically just told them that I have a good friend who we do things together. They know him, so they were fine with it. I have brought the kids over to his house a couple times for pizza. My "ex" found out today that the kids have actually been around him and he is pissed! WHAT CAN HE DO ABOUT IT???? I am so nervous that he can bring me to court to try to get custody of the kids. Can he do that for just introducing the kids to my "friend". I have never kissed, touched, nothing in front of the kids both times we have all been together.
Someone please help!!!! Can he do anything??????

Thank you so much for replying!!! I've been sitting here at work crying, worrying....
Is there anyway he could get full custody of the kids because of this if he tried? What if he brought me back to court now during our temporary orders to try to get an ammendment stating that the kids could not go around new BF while divorce is in process. Also, when divorce is totally finalized, can he still try not to have the kids around new BF??
Thank you SO MUCH!!!!!
"Is there anyway he could get full custody of the kids because of this if he tried?"
I suppose ANYTHING can happen, but it is SO unlikely. You said you live in MA, correct? I live in CT.....another pretty liberal state. Maybe it would be different if we were in the deep south!
"What if he brought me back to court now during our temporary orders to try to get an ammendment stating that the kids could not go around new BF while divorce is in process"
He could possibly try that, but again, the court rarely intervenes in these matters unless they think the children are being abused or are in a seriously detrimental situation. "I don't like them around her boyfriend" isn't enough.
"Also, when divorce is totally finalized, can he still try not to have the kids around new BF??"
Once you're divorced, that's it. He has no say over anything you do unless the children are in danger....which, of course, they wouldn't be :)
Trust me, I was in the same situation, FREAKING out, wondering what would happen. It all turned out just fine. Are you working with a lawyer? I'd give him/her a quick call with some questions about the situation, just to put your mind at ease. And please, ask as many questions as you'd like. I know how stressful and scary it can be.
Again, thank you for your response. I've calmed down some since reading your reply. :)
Yes, I do live in MA. It's just that he knows what buttons to push to get me all worked up, and that's usually using my kids in someway. He has them tonight for a few hours, and im petrified when he drops them back off to me that he will start something. He wants to talk more about how I shouldn't have the kids around the new BF. I know I can just always close the door....butI get nervous doing things like that because I'm afraid he'll retaliate in some way by going to court.
How old were your kids when you were divorced? Do you both have custody of the kids?
Kate
Hi Kate~
Just a vote of confidence.... your EX cannot "do" anything to you for having friends in your life... for having a life.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I'm glad you've calmed down ;) You are 100% correct...these are all tactics to push your buttons and to get to to agree to things out of guilt and fear. One thing I learned is that the less you show that the threat of court bothers you, the less likely they are to start spouting off about how they're going to rake you over the coals.
"How old were your kids when you were divorced?"
I have one DS. He was 10 when the divorce started. He's 12 now. The divorce took almost a year because of my ex's feet-dragging.
"Do you both have custody of the kids?"
We do have a near 50-50 arrangement. I have DS slightly more because I have him each day after school. It's a tough situation, because my ex basically now refuses to have any contact with me via e-mail or phone, and sometimes, it's hard to raise a child without contact with the other parent!!
One last question.....
I am in my 6 month waiting period that is required in Massachusetts, our next court date is in March for the divorce, then I know I have to wait another 90 days. But, am I divorced on that court date in March? Or is it after the 90 days after the court date?
Im so confused!!!! And of course everytime I talk to my lawyer, I forget to ask him.
Thanks so much!!!!
"am I divorced on that court date in March? Or is it after the 90 days after the court date?"
I'm really not sure about that because the laws in each state are so different. Maybe someone else from MA can weigh in.