I really need advice- seperated
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I really need advice- seperated
| Mon, 09-01-2008 - 6:27am |
My husband and I seperated about 3 weeks ago and every day has been a struggle to keep myself together. He and I just couldn't reconcile our differences, I told him I intended to leave because of his neglect and put downs every second of every minute we were together. He said nothing more than the fact that he agreed I should leave- and I did. Now I'm 36 wks pregnant and the thought that I'll have to see my husband's face when

You are pregnant and tired, NOT flawed and unloveable. If you love your child, and do right by your child, it doesn't matter if you and your DH are together or not. Your child will know and live with love from you. It doesn't matter that it's not from two parents who live together in a happy (or not so happy) marriage. Keep that in mind.
My heart goes out to you- I can't imagine the pain of divorce coupled with pregnancy. I agree, you need to cut yourself some slack. What I have learned through this is that both people are responsible for the failure of a marriage. I have also learned that, if you're married to someone like my STBX, they will never accept their failures in the marriage and only blame you. I allowed this to happen and finally one day I though 'I do not have to take this crap' and I haven't. I told him to only contact me in a business like manner, and only in issues pertaining to our child. I also refuse to allow him to berate me. What I also realized was that men and women cope with divorce very differently. It seems as though they love to push our buttons just to make us emotional and upset. Refuse to do that, don't allow yourself to react in any kind of emotional way, whether that is anger or crying. Treat you relationship like you would any business relationship. I promise things will get better with time, and finally, it's hard not the feel guilt when it comes to our children, but one of the best things I ever heard about children and divorce, courtesy of Dr. Phil, is that children would rather be from a broken home than live in one. As long as you always put your child first, there is no reason that they won't grow up to be happy and healthy people. Lots of love, and know that we are all with you in this journey!
I am sending you as many hugs as you need!
Remember first of all that you are a strong and independent woman.
Emom13