I ruined my marriage!!
Find a Conversation
I ruined my marriage!!
| Sat, 08-09-2008 - 3:10pm |
Hello, this is my 1st post here. Although I have posted in EAS in the past.
I just turned 30 & have been with my husband since I was 19. We have been seperated for almost 4 months & he decided last week that he wants a divorce. Things are turning very ugly very fast! I dont know if I will ever forgive myself for the things I have done that ripped us apart. I have so much guilt!!
We had intimacy problems for years. I can remember being in my early 20's & crying because my husband

Yes, I do as well.
Thanks for the reply
I also have a problem & at times I feel bitterness toward him that he wouldn't or couldn't stand by me through "sickness & in health". But in reality he did for 11 years. I know that
Hey there,
Stop feeling guilt.
It is very rarely 100% one person's fault when a marriage ends.
I feel like it's all my fault too. I suffer from depression and anxiety and my husband has tried very hard to be supportive. What has gone wrong for me is that we bought some land out in the country to build a house on. I really hate living in the country. We rented an apartment after we sold our house and lived there for a year. I loved the apartment - I liked it better than the house. I loved living in the city and having restaurants, movie theaters etc. a stones throw away. I feel so isolated out there, I look forward to going to work just so I can leave the house. I feel guilty because I know he's made a lot of effort for me, and he's not one of these guys who don't complete a project, and yet I just don't like the house. I feel like I'm ungrateful and I know I've hurt him. However, I also feel that he is asking too much of me to live in a house that is still under construction. We have a muddy mess, you can't even drive into the garage, it rains constantly here so nobody can get in to lay cement. We have had mice in our basement - thankfully the traps have been empty for some time now. It is too much for me to cope with. I also hate the commute. So now I am looking for full time work and apartments because I just can't do this anymore. I hope nobody thinks I'm a quitter, but I am so miserable, every time I tough it out something else goes wrong. I really just want to be happy. I still love my husband, he's never been unfaithful, he's hard working and a good man, but I am so not happy with our life together.