I survived my 1st court date!
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I survived my 1st court date!
| Mon, 02-05-2007 - 11:35pm |
Hi everyone. Thanks for all of your support. I had my first court appearance today with the ex. I only looked at him once and never made eye contact again. He was ordered to pay me child support by the end of the week (and I am so relieved). It was the first step in a long process I think but a good one for me. I am sure he is angry at me as he is now paying me more for two kids than he ever paid for 3. We have our next court date set for March teh 19th. I am not so nervous anymore. I think that the judge was fair and was truly looking out for my children. In Canada we have the Office of the Childrens Lawyer. The judge has asked for them to be involved and it does make me sad that someone who does not know my children will have so much input as to the custody arrangement that we will be following but hopefully my ex will have to send my 12 yr old home. I do not agree with the children being split up and he should never have done that. I am non the road to getting some closure after almost 2 yrs of pain and tears and total frustration. I am waiting for my divorce papers and I am ready to move forward with my life.
Good luck to all of you going through this. I know it is a long journey but I feel like the end is in sight!
Thanks again,
Kel
Good luck to all of you going through this. I know it is a long journey but I feel like the end is in sight!
Thanks again,
Kel

Its a difficult road we are having to travel but its a road with and end to it no matter how long it is!
I'm glad to hear it went well... It is a long process but it definitely sounds like this was a good first step. And perhaps the Office of the Childrens Lawyer was brought in because your children are split up right now and the judge feels that they can help bring them back together...
Keep us posted!
Julie
Kel;
I'm so glad for you!!! I know it's hard to face the stbx for the first time. My atty told me not to look at him at all, just act as though he wasn't there. It was easier said than done, but when I saw him for the first time in the hallway before that first hearing, after my stomach stopped doing somersaults!lol, I looked at him in a totally different way for the first time. I saw how absolutely pathetic he really is. I thought to myself, why? Why him? What did I see in him? I just knew at that moment, that I had done the right thing.
As for your kids, I cannot stress enough, the writing out of a description of your kids for the court system that will choose where they go and what happens to them. The court individual that handled our first meeting over the kids, was surprised when I handed it to her. I took the time to "objectively" look at my kids. I didn't get all sentimental in the descriptions, and I gave her a good base to make decisions. I even included descriptions of my 22, and 20 y/o's. I wanted her to see that the damage that he had done, started when they were very little. I didn't get into bashing him, I just stated facts. Just a thought there. . .
I hope that you continue to post here. During my divorce, I found such support, friendship here. I used to be a cl on ivillage, over a year ago. I came back, because I knew what the site was all about, and how it had helped me before. This forum is awesome!!
Just know that the light IS at the end of the tunnel. I promise. You're right, the journey is long, and hard. I won't kid you about that. But, in the end, it's the best.
Take care!!
Laurene