I think H has gone totally nutzo
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| Fri, 07-08-2005 - 11:00pm |
H is doing things that just make me think how could one person act like this.....Here goes it, he has been saying that he is going to move out and get an apartment b/c he is miserable...But the other morning he was getting ready to go to office depot and took our oldest 6 yr old son and on the way took my child apartment hunting with him. Son knew nothing.....He told son that he was moving and made him cry ....but then he said its ok I pulled over and explained it to him. He said I thought you already told him...which is crap, I would never tell my child that info alone...to me thats something that both parents should explain together, like when a definite move out date is set.....and now H still has not gotten an apartment but I have a 6 year old chatting about it all the time....I told him, thats great now he is going to blurt out at karate,MY DAD IS GETTING AN Apartment!!!...LOL...Here is the kicker...the damn place he is looking at is 2 miles from my house....plus, I have been asking him what he wants to do, Divorce, separate, or what and he just says I dont know.....or i am confused....or you just decide...what the hell.....I am the only good person who is in his life, I would have walked thru fire for the guy, and he is just throwing me aside....I cant sleep, eat and it really hurts to breathe sometimes...but I have tried to recommend counseling and even been very nice, I have a hard time being mean, I mean when I found out that he took my child apt hunting, I didnt yell, I nicely talked to him about it.
Then today, He is leaving town to go to a race.....which is where he says he is going but I have a feeling that he is going to see a girl. I will admit that I got nosy and searched his celll phone one night and found a cell phone # for a girl named Sharon....
I told him that I was taking the boys swimming today and he left me a terrible voicemail screaming at me and telling me off.....because for this one time I was not at the phone when he called......He is just acting totally nutzo...Why would he act like that when he is on his way to see some one else??? What a wacko.....I just feel so sick and like such a fool for being so distraught over losing him....I must be wacko too..I just love him with my whole heart, but I cant have my sons growing up watching their mother get cheated on all the time.....

Hugs to you.
I cannot believe your husband told your 6 year old that information like it's no big deal. I would have had an all out brawl with my XH if he ever did that. ugh.
These situations are never easy. We go through so many feelings and so many questions that sometimes we think we are just plain nuts. The feelings of missing him and loving him are probably true, but you have to ask yourself WHY do you miss him? I bet your answer comes up well he USED to be this way or he USED to be that way. You have to accept that he ISNT the person you love. That person, in a sad way, is gone. Even before your marriage splits, that person that you love so dearly is just, gone. That person would NEVER hurt you or your son like that. Something goes on in their head, especially if another woman is involved, that makes them do things to justify what they are doing. Pissing you off makes you out to be the person that he wants you to be so you become so hard to live with that it's OK to leave. You were nice about him telling your son, now it's time to do something worse, like calling you and being just plain nasty. He wants you to hate him, it makes it easier for him to leave. Gives him a reason, so to speak.
I hope this helps you understand. He doesn't realize the future he has in making the decisions he has. Just like my ex doesn't realize that every single decision he has now effects his children's opinion and love and all around relationship. Someday they will realize.... all x's do and when they do it will be too late.
Hugs to you,
Angelena