I think I did something wrong
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I think I did something wrong
| Sat, 08-18-2007 - 1:53pm |
I went to my kids' soccer practice today. The just started a week and a half ago and this is the first one that my stbxh had them. They are young and really don't understand what is going on around them. I think I made them feel like they needed to show loyalty to their dad. I feel really bad because I feel as though I put them in an ackward situation. Should I have not gone? I never would want to hurt them and I wasn't trying to be selfish in going, I just love watching them.
Also, still haven't heard back on his alcohol eval yet. Does anyone know how long that takes? He had his mom pick the kids up again, so I don't think he was with them until this morning. (due to his attire:))
Thanks,
broken

Hey Broken
If you didn't cause a scene, or say anything derrogatory, then I don't see a problem. In fact, it may be reassuring to them to see that you are still there, even when they are with their dad. I think it's important that they know that the relationship with you never changes, even when they are with their dad.
My S is 15,not young, and he's a hockey player. Get ready camps just started, and I don't usually get to go to those because they are during the day when I work. But I fully intend to go to all his home games, even if it's dad's weekend. I know what you mean that you love to see them play. I love watching my son skate.
So as long as you don't try to take over their dad's weekend and he does the same for you what's the harm? And they get to see the two of you behave like adults, despite what your really feeling.
My first court date is in about a month, and we are asking for an alcohol eval. too. so if you find out how long it takes, etc., I'd love to know anything. Take care. you sound like a real normal mom to me.
Thanks for your reply. Nothing happened and there was not a scene or anything. I just felt as though my kids were uncomfortable. There dad and I are never at the same place at the same time as we do not get along. Well, I can be civil to him, but he can't with me and I will not put up with the yelling and swearing anymore, I did that for way too long.
I have heard the alcohol eval report can take several weeks, so I sit here and wait. However, if he only told part of the truth on the questions, he should not pass, but...Until the day he admits he has a problem, he can't get help. I think his first clue should have been that every girlfriend he has had since we split up he has met at the bar, which is at least 8. Anyway...
Thanks,
broken