I think i messed up big time!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
I think i messed up big time!!!!
7
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 7:47am




I think i made a huge mistake yesterday. I went down to child support to find out about my case. They told me that if my stbxh didnt call and comply that they would have the cops serve him and we would go to court where he would be court ordered to take a DNA for my 12 week old, since he denies her. I tried calling him to tell him because i want this done and over with. He has ignored my calls since Friday. I called his gf to see if she could talk to him and get him to go take the test voluntarily. Well, we started out talking civilly then tables turned to him giving me money to help support the kids till cs is ordered. My oldest dd is not his biological child but he has been there since i was 6 months pg and signed the bc and has been daddy. He has never treated her any different through any of this, yet! She decides to throw this in my face and say he is paying for a child that isnt his and that once our divorce is final that he wont have visitation with her(court ordered). Well, i would never send our 6 yr old and not her. She worships the ground her daddy walks on and thats what makes it so hard. She then asks me why i sent them to camp this week instead of letting her keep them(since she doesnt work and my stbx supports her)She tells me that he has to pay thousands of dollars to keep his butt out of jail due to the domestic violence charge when we split. She also tells me that she has tried to call cs to schedule the test for him but they wont even talk to her. Well duh, she is no relation so they arent gonna tell her sh&*.


She tells me that she doesnt want to be my kids mom and that she is not gonna do anything to make it easy for them to spend time with their dad. Every weekend he has had them, she has her kids there(6 and 9) plus her friends kid and her sister. So my girls get no time with just dad. I know it isnt totally her fault because he is grown and should say something but he wont. I am so afraid that when visitation does go through that they are gonna be left with her and the thought makes me so sick to my stomach. The point of this is that i dont think calling her was such a good idea. As hard as i try to be nice it always turns into us yelling and calling each other names.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 9:45am

Thousands of dollars for domestic violence charges..... let's see... and who was domestically violent and created that mess?..... HE WAS!!!!... and I wouldn't listen to that crap for a second.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 4:13pm
i dont know if this is always the case but in this state if you sign the birth certificate, or adopt, you are claiming responsibility regardless of whether you actually fathered the child.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 4:15pm
That's what my impression is, too.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Fri, 03-25-2005 - 7:59am

STBX is a big boy now. That means he gets to pay for his own life. And not blame others.

I have not followed your threads before, but it sounds like he beat you up, and now he faces jail time because of it. Well, that's just too friggin' bad. Maybe he should spend some time in jail, and learn what its like to be weaker around bad men who don't take "no" as an answer. (Do him a favor and give him a tube of KY -- he'll need it.)

If hasn't paid court ordered child support and the local agency is going to set upon him? that's just too friggin bad. This guy just pisses me off.

What I would say is this -- don't ever talk to his gf again. There is no upside to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 03-25-2005 - 8:52am

Ouch. That must be so hard knowing he will likely split the kids & abandon your older dd b/c of this. AND even worse that he is involved with such a hard )@*&$)*!#^&$_/ .

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Fri, 03-25-2005 - 9:08am




Thanks for all the responses. Here is an update:


He called me yesterday, finally. He was telling me he still loved me and had feelings for me and that no one could or ever will take my place. He didnt know if he really wanted the divorce but he is obligated since his mom paid so much for it. He said he may want to try and work things out down the road. I am so not falling for jis lies anymore. I am not gonna sit here and wait on him to decide. If he lets the divorce go through, that is it. i am not gonna get back together and try and make things work after he felt that he HAD to divorce me. If he isnt man enough to stand up to his mommy and make his own decisions well too bad,




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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Fri, 03-25-2005 - 7:08pm
good for you. i know it must be hard, but you know its bs that the reason hes going through with it is his mom paying.
be strong