I think I should be alarmed
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 12-15-2006 - 2:38pm |
Hey ladies it's been a while since Ive been here. My mom has been in the hospital for a few weeks, she has a blood clot in her heart. It's been a time dealing with that.
Things with the pick ups and drop offs have been good. I should have known they wouldnt last forever. We had a court date yesterday. First he didnt show up, he called me the night before to tell me so at least I was prepared. But I still had to go anyway. So my lawyer and my son's lawyer were talking about trying to settle, meaning I have sole custody and he have liberal visitation. Which is what the psychiatrists' recommended. We have to go back in March of 07.
He called me last night to see what happened. So I was telling him about the plan of trying to settle. He asked what do they mean. So I said well from the report of the evaluators I would have sole custody and you'd have your vistation. I told him there would be no major changes from how things are now, unless you get overnights if you get the carpet pulled. He says he wants joint custody. I said what do you mean exactly? So I said didnt your lawyer go over the evaluation with you by the dr's. He said no, so I said well you should talk to her. He asked so what did they say that you should get custody, I said well pretty much. Then he says, so the only way for me to get some sort of custody is if you die. I said why would you say something like that? It all went downhill from there. Talking about how he may be deported and I'll still be here, that I control everything with our son, he has to bring him back when I say so etc. He wants overnights every weekend but meanwhile has no bed for him to sleep in, and has carpet in his apt. He says he can sleep in the bed with him, our son is 4 yrs old. Then the carpeting stuff, he knows full well all of his allergies and he says the dr's are lying, and he's not allergic to carpet. This man is surely delusional. Ive been very encouraging about a relationship between him and his son. Im nice about giving him extra time when he asks and everything. He even said how Im the reason he has all this child support debt. Yeah me, me, me. I made him not pay c.s. for months or I made him loose his job. He ended up hanging up on me.
What the heck do I do? I feel this is a threat. Am I overreacting? HELP.

Hi Luv,
Actually, it's not your job to fill your STBX in on the court hearing. That's his lawyer's job. If he asks any more details or there's a "next time" tell him to call his laywer. Period.
Good luck.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Susan
"Success is building a foundation wit
I just wanted to say that my STBX said something similar to me- to the gist of "This would be easier for me if you had died". I found it sickening and threatening as well, but it wasn't a direct threat. It still pops into my mind simply because I'm pretty traumatized by all of the verbal abuse I put up with. I think they say these things with no regard as to how it sounds or the total lack of respect it connotes.
I agree with the PPs, avoid talking to him at all costs. It's not worth getting sucked into more drama.
Peace
Cindy