I think I'm going nuts with it all!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
I think I'm going nuts with it all!
2
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 7:21pm

Today, well, actually the past 3 days have been hell!! My boys have been with their father for 2 weeks now. They were supposed to come home Monday which we had agreed on when setting up the visitation, then he calls Friday night and says, " I told the boys I'd like them to stay an extra week with me and they said they wanted to. I told them I had to discuss it with you first. What do you think?"

Well, I think it sucks that you put me in this position, not to mention the kids!!! I'm the bad guy if I say no, not to mention selfish and keeping the kids from their father. That's what he likes to say, even though I have never refused a visitation to him. I offered a compromise that I would meet him on Tues or Wed to get boys. Again, he says, "WHy can't I have the whole week? You should be happy I want time with the boys, I'm not a loser dad. I miss them. They spend more time with you than me. I just want as much time with them as possible." Needless, to say we went round and round, and the boys are staying with him the extra week. I felt so manipulated! I was looking forward to my boys coming home. I miss them, too. Hopefully, after all the "discussion", he will never put the boys in that position of choosing to stay or come home, or me in the position of being the "bad guy" again.

Our divorce won't be final until Sept./ Oct. He wants child support reduced on a 90 day shared custody agreement, but as it stands, he only has the boys 75 days/year. I think he's trying to get his days up by setting precedents (spelling?) with this "extra week".
Whoo! Thanks for the vent on that!

In the meantime, my house has sold, we close Aug. 11. I haven't found a house yet. I have to put a deposit on an apartment tomorrow by noon. It is nonrefundable if I find a house and don't need to move in. That scares me. I can't afford to just lose $725. I can't move in until Sept. 1, so we'll be moving in with my parents for those couple of weeks. Not looking forward to that!!! Grateful, however, they are helping us.

I think it might be best to just stop house hunting, rent for a year in the 2 br apt, get through the divorce in Sept/Oct. then start looking next year. At least the proceeds from my half of the sale on the house will be money in the bank. I've never had a savings acct. before with "enough" in it. Thanks for listening. Sometimes it really does help to just get it all out. Hopefully, this overwhelming feeling will pass quickly. I felt good and in control for awhile. Today I feel derailed.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 11:14pm

Im sorry! That is so manipulating!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 11:42pm

I would tell him that next time he should run his thought by YOU first, before saying anything to the boys.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~