I think I'm telling him today

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
I think I'm telling him today
10
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 10:56am

I've made a post or two here before and just wanted to bring everyone up to speed. My husband of 20 years has been acting strangely since November. He lost a ton of weight, has been completely non-communicative, his text messages have gone from almost none to almost a 1000 a month and he's been taking frequent business trips to the same state over an over again with another one coming up next week. I haven't confirmed it yet but my intuition tell me he's having an affair. I think i figured out what this

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2006
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 11:24am

By your post, sounds to me like an affair also.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 2:37pm

There's definitely *something* going on.


Good luck!.... hope everything


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 9:27am

I did it!


I feel scared and happy at the same time but I finally did it. I called the woman that I suspected was having an affair with my H. She denied it at first of course but as soon as I started pressing her she broke down and admitted to the affair. It has been going on since November which is exactly when my DH started acting strangely. She says they are in love and he has been promising her that he is going to leave me and start a new life with her. Even though I suspected the affair I think I am surprised that he would do this to me. How dare he? Not to mention that judging by this woman's voice she sounds much younger. Anyway I told him last night when he got home that I was going to file and it was time for him to pack up and get the H*** out. Even though I'm sad I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. He is moving out this weekend and is going to stay with his parents. Personally I don't care if he has to sleep in the street that is how angry I am he's not staying here with me anymore.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 12:29pm

One step forward.....


Hang in there!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 2:19pm

Girl your story is almost identical to mine... right down to the weight loss and text messages. My husbands AP was 14 years younger than me. What a blow to the self esteem. Of course I'm the bad guy though even though I've been faithful for the duration of our marriage. He was my first everything and I was his. Up until he met Miss She's So Perfect for Me I Can't Live Without Her. Here' the kicker. He was planning the whole time to find a job in her state and was just biding his time with me so he didn't have to move out until he had a job lined up. What a scumbag.


Well let her have him. I found

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 10:33am

Well as it turns out this woman is much younger. By 17 years. I don't know what she's thinking. The more I think about it the more I believe that my husband was also just biding his time trying to find a job near her and staying with me so he

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Fri, 02-29-2008 - 10:45am

Does anyone know if there is a way to check flight records? My husband has made several trips over the past few months and I suspect he was going to see the other woman and flew to her state instead of where he was telling me he was going.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 02-29-2008 - 11:26am

Buy and read this book...


NOT "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley Glass and Jean Coppock Staeheli


It's a lifesaver.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Fri, 02-29-2008 - 3:33pm
Thanks! I will definately look into that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 12:46pm

Well the weekend is here and he was supposed to have been moved out by now but he hasn't so much as even packed a bag. I'm so bad at confrontation. And as much as I would love to hold onto him the fact that he has someone new and prefers her to me makes me want to scream. He doesn't deserve me.


I called the other woman again (obsessive I know) and threatned to tell her boss. She told me to go ahead, she didn't care and I was just going to look like a crazy jealous wife. And you know what. After I hung up on her I realized she was correct.


Ok. After typing all of this I just realized that he needs to get the hell out. I'm going to go pack his bags for him and if he doesn't leave I'm going to put them out on the front lawn and set them on fire.


Wish me luck!