As someone who has been divorced once (due to verbal and emotional support) and have been on the verge of divorce a 2nd time due to some of the similar things you speak of, I wanted to share my opinion...
My DH and I both work in IT, so we're both prone to lay-offs. We knew this going in. Coincidentally, DH and his ex wife got divorced for most of the reasons you speak of. She's a teacher and started resenting DH when 9/11 and the recession hit and DH got laid off. She wanted him to move to a town where he had no hope of getting an IT job and instead wanted him to get a job at Starbucks. uh... Although she had a Masters degree, she refused to get a job in the city they were living in (a city with some of the best IT opportunities) and instead took their 3 year old child, went to "visit" her parents out of state, and obviously never came back.
Needless to say, I would NEVER divorce someone b/c their job is prone to layoffs. That's part of the whole "for better or worse, for richer or poorer" part I signed up for.
I would also never divorce someone because I thought I wasn't compatible anymore. DH and I have been through hell and back due to several different situations, none of them easy. We ARE different people than we were when we met 6 years ago. DH thought this meant he needed to move on, start over again. I thought that was BS. It's naive to think that after so many years of marriage that your relationship isn't going to change. Some years will be for the better, some years won't.
We were 'checked out' for almost 2 years. We were roommates just dancing circles around each other, each blaming the other for their unhappiness. I KNEW I was checked out, I KNEW I should be trying harder, I KNEW he deserved more, but I just couldn't "do" the work. I figured once HE tried, I would try.
your original post doesn't come off as greedy... I was just giving you my opinion based on the limited information you posted. Obviously, it sounds like you guys have more problems than just his job and truthfully, knowing now that you don't have kids, that makes things WAY easier and VERY different (in my book of opinion).
When I divorced my first husband, we didn't have kids either
Just to put in a little bit different of a perspective: I think that if you are really unhappy in your marriage that you have a right to leave it - whether or not you have children.
As someone who has been divorced once (due to verbal and emotional support) and have been on the verge of divorce a 2nd time due to some of the similar things you speak of, I wanted to share my opinion...
My DH and I both work in IT, so we're both prone to lay-offs. We knew this going in. Coincidentally, DH and his ex wife got divorced for most of the reasons you speak of. She's a teacher and started resenting DH when 9/11 and the recession hit and DH got laid off. She wanted him to move to a town where he had no hope of getting an IT job and instead wanted him to get a job at Starbucks. uh... Although she had a Masters degree, she refused to get a job in the city they were living in (a city with some of the best IT opportunities) and instead took their 3 year old child, went to "visit" her parents out of state, and obviously never came back.
Needless to say, I would NEVER divorce someone b/c their job is prone to layoffs. That's part of the whole "for better or worse, for richer or poorer" part I signed up for.
I would also never divorce someone because I thought I wasn't compatible anymore. DH and I have been through hell and back due to several different situations, none of them easy. We ARE different people than we were when we met 6 years ago. DH thought this meant he needed to move on, start over again. I thought that was BS. It's naive to think that after so many years of marriage that your relationship isn't going to change. Some years will be for the better, some years won't.
We were 'checked out' for almost 2 years. We were roommates just dancing circles around each other, each blaming the other for their unhappiness. I KNEW I was checked out, I KNEW I should be trying harder, I KNEW he deserved more, but I just couldn't "do" the work. I figured once HE tried, I would try.
Like I said, we have a lot more issues than just his job but his job situation just fuels the fire. I would never divorce
your original post doesn't come off as greedy... I was just giving you my opinion based on the limited information you posted. Obviously, it sounds like you guys have more problems than just his job and truthfully, knowing now that you don't have kids, that makes things WAY easier and VERY different (in my book of opinion).
When I divorced my first husband, we didn't have kids either
Just to put in a little bit different of a perspective: I think that if you are really unhappy in your marriage that you have a right to leave it - whether or not you have children.