I want him gone, out of my life forever

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
I want him gone, out of my life forever
5
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 6:37pm

I hate so much right now.

I saw an attorney today who said that the settlement agreement was good except for certain wordings which was vague. So I called him up and said I talked with a friend who said that legally we should rephrase some things. He exploded at me. He said that I was making things worse, that what we have is fine and that I just can't let it go. He asked about this friend that is giving me advice and what makes me think that they are giving me the right advice. He's using a paralegal and he said that she's been in business for 20 something years and she knows what she's doing. He went off on me on how the past two years I didn't have to do a thing while he worked his a** off for me and my daughter, how he barely has anything in his accounts now and how he's giving me a very good settlement but I still have to be difficult. He became very verbally abusive, using many words that I can't post up here. Some of the changes actually are better for him too. But he wouldn't even listen to me. I can't believe that I was married to this man. I just want him out of my life for good. I want to put all of this behind me and leave it there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 10:53pm

You said:


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 11:06pm

OOPS! That first line was supposed to say "I hate him so much right now". But I'm over the anger now...I still can't believe that I'm going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2005
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 12:21am

Glad you could come here to vent and be upset. Remember what you said to me, you want to heal and move on and be a better person. Each of these struggles is moving you to that place. And remember we tried hard and did our best...they moved out....they stopped loving us.

Just think...you are getting closer to who you want to be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 8:48am

Wow, I could have written this post myself! It's amazing how these guys are all SO SIMILIAR, I mean really, I think they were all cracked from the same rotten mold.

I'm STILL hearing the same nonsense from my STBX. I got my first child support/alimony check from him the other day, of course, he's crying poverty now, blah blah blah. Even with the calculated payments to me weekly, he's going to have A LOT more money left at the end of the month than I will! I heard the same crap about working, which I have ALWAYS worked, and I now I have a great job for a local town, I've been here for 9 years, but he always threw it in my face because it's "only a 35 hr. work week" and if I want "extra" things (like he has (boats, motorcycles, etc.) get another job! He's STILL telling me I won't have anything and I better start thinking about another job! Oh, he makes me so mad and I swear, it would be so much easier if I could just push a button and make him disappear! The verbal abuse has always been an issue, emotional also and a couple times physical! I've learned, there are times, I can't even talk to him about arrangements with the kids because he's such an a-hole! (sorry, but that's what he is)!

I am convinced daily, every time he opens his mouth, I also can't believe I married this idiot. Amazing how I/we survived with them for any length of time and in my case, it was 20 years, 17 of which I was married to him. Geez, good thing I woke up!

Hang in there, and the best advice I have received from everyone, if he gets verbally abusive, end the conversation immediately. In my STBX's case, if it has to do with money, it's a given that he's going to get nasty. I hang up on him now, LOL!

Keep us posted and feel free to email me anytime.
Jenn

Jennifer

Proud Mom of Travis (15) and Mandi (10)

and our pets, Sully the Dog and Till

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 11:20am
Thanks again for your support! I was having a good day until he blew up at me. But maybe it works out better that way. Now it's a little easier to let go of him. How could I have been married to a man that is (and was) so verbally abusive to me? I know that he redirected his anger and emotions toward me because I happened to be an easy target but I know I don't deserve to be treated that way by anyone especially by my husband. I have to keep believing that I do deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.