I want to share this with all of you
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| Sun, 03-05-2006 - 5:55pm |
I wrote this in my journal two nights ago and read it every day. I wanted to share:
I have a new outlook on honesty. I think I never knew, no I know I never knew how important it is in a relationship. I’ll never look at it the same way. I’ll never be dishonest about anything because I know how much it weighs on your own heart and makes you feel like not a whole person. Honesty. Such a small word with such power. How you can hold someone’s heart in your hand and make them believe that you are being truthful. That that person believes you. Believes that you are honest because they love with all of their soul. All of their soul, not just their heart. I never thought I could love someone with all of my soul, but I did. My entire being. Did I trust him more than I should have? No, I don’t regret trusting him, I’m not a fool, just a woman that loved with her arms wide open and her eyes closed.
I am forever changed. Changed for the better because I have a new view of honesty. One that I never thought I would have to learn this way, but God teaches us things in strange ways. Sometimes we don’t see the lessons until they knock us over from behind. And this one knocked me over, beat the crap out of me and left me bleeding. Well, it’s my time to get up, brush myself off, remember all the good times, maintain the healthy and honest relationships I have made and start over. I guess I have learned the most important lesson in my life: Trust whom you believe in, love them with all your heart and soul as much as you can, and make them trust you and never, ever give them a reason to doubt that. And most importantly, be nice to yourself. Because one day you may feel like you have no one but yourself. I love myself more today than I ever have. Partly because the person that promised to love, honor and cherish me didn’t, and I believed that my happiness was based on his view of me. Looking back on how distorted that was, I now understand how unhealthy that is, and I know I will never, ever do that with anyone else.
Recently when I decided to go back to school I had a powerful feeling that told me: This beautiful life we are given is so short, any minute we spend unhappy is a waste of time. Do what you love because every day that passes is a day you can never get back.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~