I will survive? Sure why not.
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I will survive? Sure why not.
| Sun, 06-04-2006 - 1:42pm |
Oh geez! What a freaking week. I thought I was over the emotional crud. I had gone over a week with no tears. This was the first week my younger two were gone for three straight days. It wasn't as bad as I thought, until they got home and my daughter kept slipping and calling me grandma. Geoffrey was in tears last night wanting both dad and I with him. Then he wanted to sleep in bed with me, just like he did with dad. I would'nt let him. I'm really trying my best to follow the advise from the divorce class and our family therapist. It is so hard. This week we found a perfect house for us. The kids and I fell in love with it. I made our offer on it last weekend and we didn't get it. We are the back up and I rejected the counteroffer stating that. We all went to church this morning and I took communion for the first time in over a year, maybe two. I just started crying. It took everything I had to make it through class without getting up and leaving to cry. Why doesn't he want to try and fix this marriage? I filed, so it is my decision. But he doesn't care. It's like he has written off the older to boys and me. We know longer matter. Nine years didn't mean anything? All I wanted him to do was go to counseling with us to make us a stronger family and fix some issues. I strongly feel I made the right decision. But it just really sucks!! His attorney sent over a draft for our temporary order and it basically gave him all the assets and me all the debt. I was like NO! So we sent back our revision. My attorney told me that the mediation is mainly about the kids. He will spend five minutes on property. If we don't agree then they will order us to sell everything and pay off all the debt. Actually, in my opinion that isn't such a bad idea. I've been without before and can do it again. So why is it the stronger I build myself up to be the quicker it is that I get emotional? I am a strong woman. I can support and care for all of us. I can protect and provide. I don't need a man or even want one right now. So why am I so freaking emotional?!?! I can't wait until we get our date for the mediation and finally put an end to this.

Awwww..... {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Ya know.... this time, you're being emotional for FOUR kids... plus yourself... because that's what we do!... and that's OK.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~