If only I could move on

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2007
If only I could move on
3
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 3:37pm
Hello everyone. I am new here so I thought I would say hello. My husband and I have just recently seperated because a year ago I caught him cheating on me with a woman from his job. I have spent the last year fighting for my man being a complete basketcase in the process and it has now xcome down to seperation. He has decided (or so he says) that the damage to our marriage is unfixable and he is moving on. I have days where I accept it and feel like there is no repairing it and days where I would do anythig to make it all be fixed. I want to move on because he deserves to lose me but where do you begin to start over after 20 years? He is still living with me in the house because we are trying to get our finances to a point where we can afford to live in seperate houses but even when he is home he spends all his time texting or talking to that woman and now does it right in from\nt of my face and it tears me apart. How do I make him understand that it is killing me to see this going on. He feels he doesnt have to hide it anymore because we are seperated but I feel it is just plain crual to be shoving her in my face and rubbing it in.......
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 4:36pm

Lost,


Hi. Here's a harsh reality of "choosing" in the process of divorce. HE wants out. HE wants the other woman. HE has thrown in the towel on the marriage.


HE MOVES OUT. Right now.


This isn't about carrying him along while he gets his finances in order. It's about getting YOURSELF in order. Show him the door.


There are consequences of making choices. It's time he started living with both. Give him a week to leave. Then, change the locks, the phone numbers, and forward his mail. Time to get tough because now the rubber hits the road.


Easy? Nope.


Necessary. Yes.


You'll find you can think more clearly and see what's possible once you've made it clear to him he needs to leave.


P.S. Why can't he move in with his GF? Is she married? If so, good luck to him.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 8:38pm

Lost,


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 9:08pm
Hi! I am in a similar situation... I finally moved out after a whole year of counseling, promises, "restarts", etc