If you could write/say anything...
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If you could write/say anything...
| Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:43pm |
to your ex/stbx without any repercussion, what would you say/write???
I've been writing a little "note" in my mind here and there and I know it would be a BAD idea to really send it or say it, but oooooohhhh, I would LOVE to!
Melanie

It's late and I'm tired, so I can't quite grasp what it is I've been writing in my head, but it goes a little something like this:
Bill,
You suck.
I would write something like this:
When our children were going through the adjustment of our separation/divorce, you caused the two youngest to become suicidal through your behavior and parenting as stated by three of their psychiatrists; several nurses, therapist and others working at the hospital's psych ward where our dd was due to this; and two psychologist. One of the children's psychiatrists stated that you were "an @$$." Your parenting, along with your wife's according to these same professionals, had been sociopathic and continues to be.
I am aware of the sexual abuse that you suffered as a child and teenager at the hands of your grandfather. I know that you have set that aside and try to go on and be a normal person. However, that person is a paper thin veneer. It doesn't take much to poke a hole in it. Once that hole is poked in it, you no longer know who you are. You have an idea of who you should be, based more and more on your abusive parents, but you don't know who you are.
Your wife has caused our children and grandchildren a world of hurt. Neither of you should ever be left alone with a child. According to the gentleman who did the last custody evaluation you two had, "no child should live in that house." In addition to the obvious, this indicates to me that your house is just that, a house. It is not a home. A home is a welcoming, loving, and safe place, all the things that your house is not. Are you aware that that gentleman works for CPS? He is known as the best custody evaluator in the county, in fact. His word carried a lot of weight in court which is why your wife lost custody of her son to an alcoholic. The judge believed that the alcoholic's home was better than your house based on the evaluation.
Although I am aware that you will never do so since it would break you, it would be my sincere wish that you would get the mental health care that you need. I know you can't. If you were ever to try, you would probably be institutionalized for years.
I also wish that you could see your wife for who she is. Instead, you continue your unacknowledged affairs. As long as you have someone who will allow that to happen, you will not leave them. She hurts our children. She hurts our grandchildren. I fail to understand how you could allow this to happen. Then again, I understand it. I simply can never say that it is morally right.
I am unable
Dear ex
OK Jacka$$... get a clue.
A letter to my ex.
Dear butthead,
I would try to tell you what has happened to us, but you wouldn't have a clue.
Oh Melanie... GREAT idea!
Dear EX,
Ya know, all I asked of you was to see your kids, spend quality time with them... and pay the piddly amount of support that you're supposed to pay... on time.
This weekend I asked if you'd help DD with her social studies project, but no, you were too busy using DS's FREE CHILD LABOR to help her.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Maybe it's too soon, but I would say:
Why? What could possibly going through your head. What you've told me is wrong is obviously not what is REALLY wrong. You tell me if I were to magically change all of our issues today (most of which even you admit are minor) that would not change anything. That tells me there is more to this story. You say you are so concerned about hurting me, well you've hurt me more than anyone else in my life has hurt me, so why not lay it all out there. Tell me everything, I'm a big girl, I can handle it.
Our issues seemed so minor and we seemed to be having a really good time up until a matter of days before you dropped this bomb. And then you wouldn't even give it a chance. You just walked out. You won't talk to me on the phone and barely by email. Why don't you want to meet with me? You say it's because you don't think it would do any good. I think it is because it would wrack you with too much guilt to look me in the eyes and say "I still love you and care for you, but I'm walking out on you." This doesn't make any sense.
You accuse me of behaving like a child, but in reality you are the one running away. If I had known 6 years ago that if you encountered any rough spots in our marriage you were going to call it quits and be out the door without looking back I would have never married you. You were wonderful at the time, but if I had that crystal ball I would have saved myself the heartache.
I've told you that if you were cheating on me this would be easier. I'm not saying it wouldn't hurt because it would. But there is not any sort of valid reason. It is this giant nebulous with nothing tangible. I love you but I have to leave. That doesn't even make sense!! Okay, so you want to join your single or recently divorced buddies so you can hang out and drink and party and have no responsibilities. Fine. Whatever. I never hindered your freedom before, but somehow you think that being single is better???? Just you wait until you want a comfy place to come home to. Wait until you need that shoulder to cry on or you get sick with the flu. Who is going to take care of you then? What about those frustrating days at work - who do you vent to? Your co-worker that you're living with - he already knows all the stories. Doesn't help to vent then does it? Who supports you in your dreams? WHo are you going to share those inside jokes with? Who are you going to watch stupid movies with or "impress" with your intelligence? You get all of that with me, plus you get a lover besides. What a deal. And you're walking away.
You make no sense. This makes no sense and that is why I am hurting so much.
I rambled,but I think it made me feel just a touch better.