I'm going insane
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I'm going insane
| Thu, 04-26-2007 - 2:22pm |
My H and I are getting ready to legally separate and it is killing me to some extent. There are days when I am doing just fine and there are days when I want to sit in my room and scream and cry. A part of me knows this is the best thing for us, but God, I love him. I hate the things he has done, but I do not hate him. I keep thinking things would be easier if we didn't have our 2-year-old daughter because there would be no reason to talk to him, but I find myself waiting for him to call me. I want him to miss me like I miss him. I am so past being okay it is ridiculous. What do I do to get past all this??

I know you're going through a difficult time, I was not as heartbroken as my H and I had a long drawn out run and it all went pfft. But there are 2 ideas I have for you to help. One is just keep posting and venting on these forums, I did so in other forums and now feel I have gotten a lot of my sadness out of my system. 2 is that in time you'll get stronger, you'll feel stronger. You have to because in these situations it's like sink or swim. Chose to swim! You can do it.
It's been only 4 months for me, I've moved, I'm 8 months pregnant, primarily looking after our 3 and 1/2 year old daughter, I'm SAHM now but intend to get a little p/t job in 5 months. I'm setting goals that I should have done long ago but lost myself in my marriage. Please IMHO try to turn your terrible sad circumstances into something positive, set goals, improve yourself. You will get through it, stronger and happier, HTH. Karmaphobia.
Hi~
The transitions are never easy, whether you can rationalize them or not, but I think that time is the biggest factor and finding new routines for your day so that you start to get focused on different things.
Hang in there!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Big hugs from one that can truly feel your pain.
It's amazing the hurt we feel right now, hard to believe things will EVER get better, especially for our broken hearts.
We were a couple months away from our final court date, and I let him move back in.
Two weeks ago he was sending me emails saying he wanted me forever.
Now we're waiting for our final court date again, he gave up.
The only advice I can give you, and it's truly from my heart, is day by day. Some times, it's second by second really. The feelings we feel can be maddening!
But, I KNOW, because I have already been on my own once, that I can survive, because I did! And some days feelings will come hard but there really are less of those days once he is gone for good.
This board is a big help! Everyone can understand and share. And we all need that right now...
Take care of yourself, keep us posted!
Jennifer
I am in the same boat as you! I feel exactly like you do as far as wanting him to miss me as much as I miss him. After 20 years together and two A on his part, you would think I would not care if he moved out....but honestly its tearing me up inside! He is living and working in another state(staying in hotels) and came back for a few days last month and we actually had fun! And now today he told me he went out look at an apt.......HIT ME LIKE A TON A BRICKS even though i knew thats what he intended to do. He wanted the separation and said he needed time to "find himself". After every bad thing he has done to me, WHY IN HEAVENS NAME DO I STILL WANT TO TRY? At one point, I had mustered up the courage to consult a lawyer and had decided to file for D, but we started getting along so I did not. Maybe I will get it right soon or drive myself completely nuts! Thanks for letting me vent!
Aries